Column: Parents, speak up
Parents should seize initiative on talk about drug use
Regular conversations and sharing of information is one of the best and most powerful ways to connect with and protect our children. However, tackling some of life’s toughest topics, such as alcohol, tobacco and drugs, can be quite challenging, especially in this day and age.
One of the ways of introducing the subject is during “teachable moments.” These opportunities present themselves while looking at magazines, watching television, listening to the radio, during sports events, when hearing of issues with classmates, friends, relatives, or through social media outlets. They are everyday opportunities to begin a conversation that is not the result of your child’s direct risky behavior, but on another situation. We can use someone else’s risky behavior as an example or a teachable moment. The opportunity to focus on someone else’s choices makes the conversation less threatening to your child than if your child had made the poor choice, then it would be a discussion about their own consequence versus learning from someone else’s behavior or situation. This is the very essence of prevention… impacting behavior and stopping something like a negative behavior before it begins.
More specifically, whether it is a fictional character in a book or movie that is using alcohol, tobacco or drugs or a popular actor/actress, seize the opportunity to ask your child what they thought about it, what impact it had on their lives, what consequences were/weren’t received or how they would have handled that particular situation. You may be surprised by their responses, but pleased with the discussion. Even a short, quick discussion is an opportunity to learn, teach and share.
Sometimes, the conversation shifts to a much more personal level, whether with a relative or yourself. If substance abuse or addiction affects someone in your family, it is important to be open and honest and as forthcoming as possible, keeping in mind their developmental ability to understand. Children often see and hear things that we might hope they had not, but again, use these as teachable moments. Perhaps, it may be a chance to explain addiction and the effects on their family member and others around them, and what treatment and recovery mean.
So then, how do parents answer one of the most challenging questions, “Did you ever use drugs?” If the answer is “no,” it is easy. If the answer isn’t, then most parents may stammer and stutter with their response. We want to give our children a clear response, without feeling hypocritical. We want to maintain our credibility to be sure that it is direct enough so that they understand how important it is to follow our rules at this time. Be honest, but you don’t have to share every detail. As with other tough topics, some details need to remain private.
Ask your child questions to be sure you know exactly what they want to know and limit the response to that specific discussion. This kind of discussion is a great opportunity to have an open discussion about what tempted you to do drugs, what risks are involved and why you want them to avoid making the same mistake.
More specifically, here are some opening responses: “I took drugs because some of my friends used them and I wanted to fit in…” (an opportunity to discuss how to counter peer pressure); and, “Everyone makes mistakes and trying drugs was one of my biggest mistakes…” (discuss how to make good, healthy choices for his/herself).
In closing, teachable moments, keeping open communication, opportunities for conversations with our children are keys to prevention and keep our children safe, protected and drug free.