An open letter to the men of America

The following editorial appeared in the Concord (N.H.) Monitor on Thursday, Nov. 16:

Dear men of America: Assume that the person who refills your coffee cup prefers that you call her by name, not "Sweetie," ''Honey," ''Darling" or "Cutie."

Assume that your co-worker's selfesteem will be just fine if you refrain from telling her how beautiful or sexy she looks.

Assume that telling someone she should be a model will not be taken as thoughtful career advice.

Assume that the person you pass on the street will not find it flattering to be whistled at or ogled.

Assume that the person sitting a few tables away would be deeply unsettled if she knew you were staring at her.

Assume that commenting on any part of a woman's body, no matter how complimentary, would be inappropriate and creepy.

Assume that when you shake a woman's hand, she doesn't want you to keep holding on to it.

Assume that no woman would be titillated by stories of your past sexual experiences or the kind of pornography you like to watch.

Assume that the person next to you very much does not want you to place your hand on any part of her body.

Assume that the way a woman chooses to dress is about fashion, not sex.

Assume that just because a person is friendly and kind, and laughs at your jokes, doesn't mean she is attracted to you.

Assume that when a woman says "No," that is precisely what she means.

Assume that there is not a woman alive who wants to receive an unsolicited photo of your penis or watch you masturbate.

Assume that if you use your position of power to pressure someone into a sexual relationship they don't want, it will destroy lives.

Assume that when a woman resists your come-ons, she is being sincere and not playing hard to get.

Assume that groping is no more acceptable when you are 80 than it was when you were 20 or 40.

Assume that women who are young enough to be your daughter or granddaughter would be repulsed by your flirting, no matter how innocent you try to make it seem.

Assume that if a woman was attracted to you and wanted to have sex, she would convey those feelings to you in a direct and unambiguous way.

If you make these assumptions (along with many, many related assumptions), every now and then you might be incorrect – but you won't be wrong.