Payton made his mark SRA legend left lasting legacy
PAWTUCKET — There’s an old adage that states “A funeral (or memorial mass/service) isn’t as much for the deceased but for the living.”
Never did that belief ring more true than at St. Raphael Academy’s Joseph & Blanche Coutu Theater back in October, when dozens of family members, friends, old teammates and others spent well over three hours celebrating the life of the beloved Donald C. Payton.
He had died peacefully at the Jack Byrne Center for Palliative & Hospice Care, Dartmouth-Hitchcock Medical Center in Lebanon, N.H. at age 79, and there was a small funeral mass in his home state of Vermont shortly thereafter. Still, all of those who loved him knew how much it would mean to him to have a gathering at his adored alma mater.
And so it was.
Payton achieved greatness in a variety of endeavors in his life – as an All-Blackstone Valley lineman for the Saints (Class of 1956); a college football player at Northeastern University; as president of his own Payton Enterprises; and as an accomplished self-employed manufacturers sales representative in the metals field.
But none of those were the reasons at least 150 folks congregated at the Coutu Theater on this brisk, sunny afternoon. They instead focused on his life as a devoted husband to his wife of 56 years, Patti; loving father to sons Donnie Jr., Patrick and Michael; funny, caring granddad to several grandchildren; knowledgeable and energetic teammate and coach; and all-around “good guy who would do anything for you.”
According to those who knew him for over 60 years – or met relatively recently – Payton touched all with the aforementioned stardust. The gifts he gave, and continue to give, won’t and can’t be forgotten.
This particular memorial helped all heal, at least a bit.
“The ceremony was so emotional, it’s beyond words,” offered former SRA lineman Ed Sabatini during the post-event reception. “It made me weak in the knees. The guy was so humbling, but humbled himself. Back when we played, it was tough to compete against a guy like Donnie Payton; that’s how good he was. I was just a back-up lineman/linebacker.
“But you know what? Every now and then, I’d get lucky,” he added with a grin. “Donnie would come to the sideline and tell Coach (Bob Condon) that he needed a breather, then say, ‘Send Eddie in! He can do it.’ I’d get playing time, and it was all because he knew how much I wanted to be in there.
“Playing wasn’t tough for him because he had so much talent; that’s why he made All-Valley first team. But he was more than a hero on the field; he was a tremendous teammate and classmate, and I’ll never forget him.”
Those in attendance already knew all about his abilities on the gridiron. He helped put “good ol’ Saints” on the map in the fall of 1955, leading his varsity football team to a perfect 10-0 record and the state championship.
As son Patrick indicated in his speech as the program’s emcee, he was the only Saint ever to be named a lone captain. All others, including now, have had either two or more captains.
And, as a man, he never lost touch with his old school, even authoring a book about growing up in Pawtucket and his exploits at SRA.
Entitled “Friends Are Thicker Than Water: Tales of a Misspent Youth,” published in 2009, he made it a point to change the names of his pals and others “to protect the non-so-innocent,” he once laughed. Still, those who read it marvel at the detail in which he recalled sometimes-hysterical, sometimes-revealing, sometimes-touching moments as a “Saint.
“When his son Mike was a freshman, I was a senior (in the fall of 1985), and that’s when I first met Don,” stated current varsity grid mentor Mike Sassi. “He’d be at all the games, cheering us on. I’m very big on the history of Saints football, so I knew all about the 1955 state champs and his role on it.
“I’ve been teaching and coaching here since the early ‘90s, and – since I got the head job in ‘98 – there hasn’t been a season where Don hasn’t touched base with me. He’d not only wish us luck on the new season but also ask me in detail about the team, how it was doing and how we’d fare.
“God, he loved this football program and this school,” he added. “I’ve been blown away at some of the things he’s said to me over the years. He was always so supportive. I always kind of thought that he was really happy that a Saints grad was here to carry on the football tradition.
“I wouldn’t have missed this for the world.”
Neither would former receiver/defensive end Charlie Olobri, who with his wife Ingrid flew in for this event from Anaheim, Calif.
“Everything that’s been said here, from his sons to his old teammates, that’s what he meant to me,” Olobri stated. “I didn’t get a chance at the microphone, but he was Superman; he should’ve been born with a red ‘S’ on his chest.
“He had the most incredible football memory; he could remember plays that we ran in a certain game in a certain quarter, what the result was, how much we won by. He’d say, ‘ Remember when we played Mount St. Charles? I blocked a guy so hard on one play, knocking him on his butt, and (longtime buddy) Jimmy Sullivan came running up behind me and scored from 71 yards out! Man, what a run!’
“His memory was incredible.”
Don Payton could be an emotional guy, as shown by his love for both poetry and music.
If he had heard his son Patrick play the Native American flute, or his cousin Antoinette Peyton (who flew here from Swinford, County Mayo, Ireland, belt out awesome renditions of “Danny Boy” and “Ave Maria,” or nephew John (“Jakes”) Plaziak play the guitar or the piano, he would have sobbed tears of joy.
He also roared his delight at hearing his namesake, Donnie, play the harmonica to his favorite tune (naturally), “When the Saints Go Marching In.”
That was Don Payton – through and through.
Eldest son Donnie provided some humor when he explained how his dad, prior to the then-annual Thanksgiving Day showdown with archrival Tolman, decided to “spark” a pre-game pep rally with the singing of the Saints’ school song.
He then asked the congregation to join in singing the tune while he played the harmonica.
“The words are pretty simple: ‘Oh, when the Saints go marching in, when the Saints go marching in’” he stated, and that drew hysterical laughter from the throngs.
For Don and his family, they sang it, and it created both smiles and tears.
“My dad got goose bumps when he heard that song,” Donnie said. “He told me it would remind him of the Saints marching down the field to victory.”
Shortly thereafter, his 16-year-old grandson, Thomas Patrick Payton of Hartford, Vt., told the onlookers, “I’m really sad he’s no longer with us; he did so much for me, all of his grandchildren, but he will always live in my heart.”
After writing his book, “Friends Are Thicker Than Water,” he told his brother David he wanted to write something for St. Raphael, and the two began the quest of composing it. Later named, “Saints: The Musical” (not surprisingly), it came to life on stage at the theater (aka “the old gym”) a few years ago.
Anne Colannino and Sandy Cerel co-directed the production, and the former expressed her affection for the old lineman.
“Sandy is away but wanted me to tell you, in her words, ‘how heartbroken I am not to be able to attend the memorial,’” Colannino said. “I marveled at Don’s gift for creating meaningful relationships and taking care of those of us who are fortunate to have known him. He was a kind and giving man who went out of his way to care about and for others.
“He had a way of making everyone feel special, appreciated and valued,” she continued. “Sandy and I felt that from him, and were witnesses as he was that way with all who worked on bringing ‘Saints’ to this stage.
“We could say that it was here, at this school, that Don watched and realized perhaps one of his finest more recent moments, as had been the case so many years before as a student-athlete. It is also fitting that it’s here, a place so dear to him, where we have gathered to honor, celebrate and reflect on how dear he was to us.
“His was a life welllived.”
Noted Cerel, a long-time friend of brother Dave and partner Bob Zannini: “Don was a fascinating storyteller. He could recall in vivid detail the non-stop adventures fro his days at St. Raphael … I delighted in seeing the sparkle in Don’s eye as he watched his cherished high school years come to life on stage.
“He always expressed his sincere appreciation to the cast and crew, and I was so pleased I could be a part of that event, (one) so meaningful to Don … He touched the lives of so many people, and he will be missed tremendously, remembered with great warmth and admiration.”
Long after Payton’s playing days, he decided to share his wisdom on the gridiron, coaching the Darlington Braves. Later, he and Patti moved to Plainville, Mass. with their boys, and it didn’t take him long to start up the inaugural Plainville Packers youth football program.
To no one’s astonishment, there were more than a few Braves and Packers who chose to partake in the memorial. There, the hundreds of comments on Payton pushed to the forefront a whole lot of memories for former Braves Jack and Jim Early.
“We played for Coach in 1966, and that was his first year,” grinned Jack, the starting quarterback. “I will say this: He was a very excitable coach on the sidelines; there were a few times he’d even call the wrong play.
“I remember he’d tell me I had to know everybody’s jobs of every single play,” he added. “But then, if we were down by the goal line and he knew we were on the verge of scoring, he’d tell me, ‘Fake the 43-14 and run the 45-16!’ What he meant to say was run the 4314. We’d be, like, ‘Coach, what?!’”
Offered brother Jim, who just happened to be Jack’s center: “Those were fantastic days. He was such a knowledgeable coach and taught us so much. We went years without speaking to him, but I connected with Don on Facebook, and it was probably 50 years later. He was so excited.
“Jack and I decided to go up north and have dinner with him at Manchester (N.H.) Country Club, and it was amazing to see him; all we did was reminisce and catch up,” he continued. “I remember Don got up to do something; it was probably say ‘Hello’ to another one of his friends, and Jack looked at me, ‘What are we going to do?’
“I just said, ‘ What do you mean?’ and he told me, ‘We’re too old to call him Mr. Payton, and too young to call him Don. We decided the most respectful thing to do was call him ‘Coach.’ That’s what we called him, and he LOVED it!
“Two weeks ago, (his son) Michael posted on Facebook that Coach had passed away, and I called my brother to tell him; he knew immediately what I meant … He meant so much to both of us, all of us. I thought the memorial was great, and Coach deserved every bit of it, every word that was uttered.”
In the end, the entire Payton family stood below the stage, joined hands or put their arms around each other and sang, at first, Billy Joel’s “Piano Man,” then “We’re Awfully Glad We Met You.”
When that came to a close, all thanked those who attended, then embraced.
“It was beautiful; it was absolutely fantastic,” brother David grinned through tears afterward. “Everyone said all the right things in all the right ways. Don would’ve been so pleased, hearing all these wonderful things said about him, Saints, Pawtucket …
“Everyone here, everyone he ever met, meant the world to him. Don had a joyful heart, and he deserves all of this – and more.”