Late Night Laughs: Around the White House

Today was the deadline to file your taxes. I guess Trump got some good news this year. He got to write off the first 100 days of his presidency as a total loss. Good for him. — Jimmy Fallon

Several days ago, President Trump said an American aircraft carrier was heading toward North Korea, but it turns out it was sailing in the opposite direction. It’s the aircraft carrier the U. S. S. Metaphor. — Conan O’Brien

Our relationship with North Korea is especially tense right now. And one way or another, Donald Trump is going to do something about that [plays clip of Trump saying Bill Clinton and Obama “have all been outplayed by this gentleman”] — just as soon as he figures out that Kim Jong- un and his father, Kim Jong- il, are two different people. — Jimmy Kimmel

Trump just gave an interview where he appeared to confuse Kim Jong- un with his father, Kim Jong- il. It got worse when Trump was like, “Which one’s married to Kanye?” — Jimmy Fallon

Does Trump really not know that when Bill Clinton was president, Kim Jong- un was 16 years old? This is crazy! There’s a 50-50 chance we might accidentally bomb South Korea if we’re not careful. — Jimmy Kimmel

To be fair, there are a lot of Kims out there. As a service to our president I thought we’d make it clear [shows photos]: This is Kim Jong- il. He is very dead. This is Kim Jong- un. He is still alive. And this is Lil Kim. She has nothing to do with any of it; leave her alone. — Jimmy Kimmel

Today, North Korean leader Kim Jong- un warned that he might unleash a “super mighty preemptive strike.” When she heard, Mrs. Kim Jong- un rolled her eyes and said, “Trust me, I wouldn’t worry about it.” — Conan O’Brien

A new report says the U. S. border wall could cost three times as much as previously estimated. However, Trump says he’ll keep costs down with his secret business trick called “not paying for stuff.” — Conan O’Brien

The New England Patriots visited the White House, and Patriots star Rob Gronkowski interrupted Sean Spicer’s White House press briefing and asked if he needed help. Reporters all laughed while Sean Spicer whispered, “Yes.” — Jimmy Fallon

Last night, Sarah Palin, Ted Nugent and Kid Rock met with Trump in the Oval Office — or as they’re more commonly known, “The redneck Holy Trinity.” — Jimmy Fallon

Sarah Palin visited the White House last night along with Ted Nugent and Kid Rock. All three expressed their regrets that Honey Boo Boo couldn’t make it. — Conan O’Brien

Last night, Donald Trump hosted a dinner at the White House that was attended by Sarah Palin, Ted Nugent and Kid Rock. The dinner was interrupted when an episode of “Cops” broke out. — Conan O’Brien