Late Night Laughs

In a new interview, President Trump revealed that he tweets in bed. When asked if this were true, Melania said, “How would I know?” — Conan O’Brien

In South Korea, the Winter Olympics start Thursday. Vice President Mike Pence will be there for opening ceremonies but is leaving after that so he doesn’t have to see the biathlon — he believes that athlons should be between one man and one woman. — Jimmy Kimmel

Paul Ryan posted a tweet where he bragged about how the GOP tax bill helped a woman earn an extra $1.50 a week. He would’ve gotten a lot of angry letters, but nobody wanted to spend their entire bonus on a stamp. — Jimmy Fallon

After President Trump called Demo- crats “un-American” for not applauding him during the State of the Union speech, Democratic Sen. Tammy Duckworth tweeted at Trump about using his alleged bone spurs to get out of Vietnam. She tweeted, “I swore an oath to defend the Constitution … not to mindlessly cater to the whims of Cadet Bone Spurs.” Which means now Trump is suffering from bone spurs AND third- degree burns. — James Corden

I know that Trump started it, but is this where this country is right now? Politicians just calling each other names? Pretty soon pundits are going to be on cable news saying, “I thought the president made a good point when he said, ‘I know you are, but what am I?’” — James Corden

President Trump today said that Sen. Orrin Hatch called him the greatest president in the history of our country. I guess Hatch is still mad at Abraham Lincoln for stealing his girlfriend in middle school. SETH MEYERS