Late Night Laughs: Around the White House

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During a speech at Yale this weekend, Hillary Clinton mocked President Trump by putting on a traditional Russian hat, and then Trump mocked Clinton by being the president. — Seth Meyers ›

Meanwhile, back in Washington today, President Trump went to the swearing-in ceremony for new CIA director Gina Haspel. In her speech she said, “We can’t rest on our laurels.” Then Trump chimed in and said, “Or our Yannys.” — Jimmy Fallon ›

In an interview on “Fox & Friends,” President Trump said that NFL players who kneel for the anthem “shouldn’t be playing.” “Um, actually no one should be,” said doctors. — Seth Meyers ›

Rudy Giuliani said this weekend that special counsel Robert Mueller has promised to finish his investigation into possible wrongdoing by President Trump by September, possibly even August if Giuliani would just stop calling him. — Seth Meyers ›

Donald Trump is obsessed with his staff leaking information. You know how I know that? His staff leaked that information to The New York Times. — Stephen Colbert ›

A sinkhole has opened up on the White House lawn. So apparently, another one of Melania’s tunnels collapsed. — Conan O’Brien ›

White House aides have told Trump to switch out his cellphone on a monthly basis, but he says it’s too inconvenient. Trump’s like, “The only thing I switch out on a monthly basis is my staff.” — Jimmy Fallon ›

President Trump canceled his summit with Kim Jong Un, saying it’s because of Kim’s “open hostility.” Trump said, “I will not tolerate hostility from a fat-faced little Rocket Man.” — Conan O’Brien ›

After North Korea indicated that the talks may be off, Trump announced the talks are off. It was the nuclear nonproliferation equivalent of, “You break up with me? I break up with YOU!” — Jimmy Kimmel ›

In his letter [to North Korea], Trump bragged about America’s nuclear arsenal, but ended the letter by writing, “If you change your mind, please do not hesitate to call me or write.” Which feels like a bit of a mixed message. Trump’s like, “I can wipe your country out with a level of nuclear force you can’t even comprehend … but I’m here for you if you need to talk.” — James Corden ›

This, to me, was the most interesting part: Trump wrote, “You talk about nuclear capabilities but ours are so massive and powerful that I pray to God they will never have to be used.” And then he goes right into, “I felt a wonderful dialogue was building up between you and me.” See, that’s Trump diplomacy in a nutshell: I look forward to our friendship, but if not, I will kill you. — Jimmy Kimmel