Late Night Laughs

› Scientists are predicting that in a few years we’ll be able to smell the TV shows we watch. This is good news for every single show except “Dog the Bounty Hunter.” — Conan O’Brien

› There’s talk of legalizing marijuana in Utah. However, Mormons are worried that marijuana may be a gateway drug to coffee. — Conan O’Brien

› In Florida, an 87-yearold man has donated 100 gallons of blood throughout his lifetime. And the weird thing is, only half of it is his. — Conan O’Brien

› I saw that “Survivor” is coming back for a 37th season. I think they’re starting to run out of locations. They just announced that next season is being held at a Costco on a Saturday. — Jimmy Fallon

› A 24-year- old woman who was caught attempting to smuggle $20 million worth of cocaine out of South America said she only did it to get likes on her Instagram travel photos. According to the girl’s attorney, she’s going to plead YOLO. — James Corden

› Negotiations to buy the company that makes Adderall ended today without a deal. Meanwhile, talks to buy the maker of Cialis lasted over four hours so they had to call a doctor. — Conan O’Brien

› In Florida, a man crashed his car, was found to be in possession of meth, then tried to flee the accident to get more meth. Police are describing the man as “armed and consistent.” — Conan O’Brien

› North Korea has announced plans to change time zones to line up with South Korea. Which means that North Koreans will have to set their clocks ahead — 100 years. — Seth Meyers

› Einstein Bros. Bagels shop is now serving mac and cheese bagels. So if you love bagels, and you love mac and cheese, I hope you have a great personality. — Seth Meyers

› Police in Germany recently spent nine hours using a crane to lift an escaped water buffalo from a highway. Said the water buffalo, “I GET it, I’m FAT.” — Seth Meyers