Late Night Laughs: Around the White House

Bob Woodward’s book is out about the president. It’s already a bestseller on Amazon. Between Woodward’s and Omarosa’s books, Trump has done something incredible — he’s “Made America Read Again.” — Jimmy Fallon

Today, confirmation hearings continued for Supreme Court nominee Brett Kavanaugh. At one point, a protester screamed, “Sham president, sham justice!” Then security escorted Ruth Bader Ginsburg out of the room. — Jimmy Fallon

Kavanaugh is Trump’s second Supreme Court nominee in two years. Two in two years. You’ve got to admit, Vladimir Putin is definitely getting his money’s worth, isn’t he? — James Corden

The hearing got pretty contentious because a lot of Americans have concerns about this nomination. Of course, I as a Brit, have an additional concern for any judge — does he look sufficiently stupid in an old-timey wig? — James Corden

Some of the protesters dressed in costumes resembling handmaidens from “The Handmaid’s Tale.” And it had an effect. It delayed the hearing for six hours while the Senate caught up on Season 2. — James Corden

If these protesters really wanted to get Trump’s attention, they should have just put on NFL uniforms and taken a knee. — James Corden

This hearing is supposed to go on for another couple of days. It is very in- depth. Senators are questioning Kavanaugh on guns and abortion and why he looks like the flustered dad on every sitcom from the ’90s. — James Corden

Today at Brett Kavanaugh’s Supreme Court confirmation hearing, Democrats released some of his confidential emails from 2003. Republicans were furious that his emails were being read. Then Hillary was like, “Sucks, doesn’t it?” — Jimmy Fallon

Everybody is talking about this big bombshell in The New York Times. They published an article written by an anonymous senior White House official that claims members of the the administration are concerned about Donald Trump’s mental stability. So from within the White House they are actively working to thwart the president’s agenda. As you can imagine, Trump is furious about this today, mostly because he thought getting his agenda thwarted meant something totally different. — James Corden

When he heard about the editorial Trump was like, “How dare this person publicly undermine a high- level government official? Anyway, I’m going to go and humiliate the attorney general on Twitter.” — James Corden

Some folks think they know who wrote the op- ed because of an unusual word in this passage, which describes John McCain’s legacy as “A lodestar for restoring honor to public life and our national dialogue.” I actually think my sister drives a 2009 Suzuki Lodestar. — Stephen Colbert

But that word might be a clue, “lodestar,” because it happens to be one of Vice President Mike Pence’s favorites … It’s so unlike Mike Pence to make a strange word choice. Just ask his wife, “Mother.” — Stephen Colbert