Late Night Laughs: Current events

Seth Meyers’ favorite jokes of the week (Oct. 7):

› According to a new poll, 58% of Americans support the opening of the impeachment inquiry into Trump. So, congratulations, man. You’re finally polling above 50%.

› President Trump tweeted this morning about the Democratic presidential race, saying, “I think that Crooked Hillary Clinton should enter the race to try and steal it away from Uber Left Elizabeth Warren.” Said Hillary [as Clinton, growing increasingly excited], “Oh my God, could you imagine if I did? Like … Like as a joke, but oh my God, that would be so crazy. I mean, that’s so funny, though. Should I? Would that … Wouldn’t that be insane? Oh my God, you guys. I will. OK, I will.”

› Former Vice President Joe Biden today publicly came out in support of Seth Meyers’ favorite jokes of the week impeaching President Trump. Thank you for finally joining us. I mean, Biden’s like that friend who doesn’t go to the party, but keeps calling to find out who’s there. [As Biden] “Yeah, a lot of people? Is Elizabeth there? What about Kamala? Yeah, all right, maybe I’ll come.”

› The White House today sent a letter to the House of Representatives stating the Trump administration will not participate in the impeachment probe, which it calls illegitimate. What do you mean you’re not participating? It’s an impeachment inquiry, not Secret Santa. [As Trump] “No, not for me this year.” You don’t get to choose whether you participate. You’re like a guy getting dragged away in handcuffs screaming, “I’m not participating in this arrest.”

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