Rib ticklers

› Why are skeletons so calm? Because nothing gets under their skin.

› What does a skeleton order at a restaurant? Spare ribs.

› What is a skeleton’s favorite instrument? A trombone.

› What instruments can skeletons not play? Organs.

› Did you know there’s no such thing as a funny bone? But the upper arm is humerus.

Some with bite

› What is a vampire’s favorite breed of dog? A bloodhound.

› What is a vampire’s favorite fruit? A nectarine.

› Why is a vampire good to take out for meals? Because he eats necks to nothing.

› Why won’t anyone kiss Dracula? Because he has bat breath.

› Why was the vampire in a bad mood? Too much B negative.

Devilish fun

› Why should you always read the fine print? Because the devil is in the details.

› What is the best way to get rid of a demon? Exorcise.

› What happens if you forget to pay your exorcist? Your house gets repossessed.

Pumpkin to talk about

› What do you call a fat pumpkin? A plumpkin.

› Do you know how to magically transform a pumpkin?

Throw it up in the air, and it comes down squash.

› What did the pumpkin say about the jack-o’-lantern?

Looks like somebody’s had some work done.

› How do you fix a broken pumpkin? With a pumpkin patch.

› What do you call a beautiful pumpkin?

Gourdgeous.

Cackles

› What’s wrong with twin witches? You never know which witch is which.

› Which witch turns the lights off at Halloween? The light’s witch.

› What do you call a witch’s motorbike? A baaaarooooooomm stick.

› What happened to the naughty witch at school? She was ex-spelled.

› What do you call six witches in a hot tub? A self-cleaning coven.

Lisa Denton