Don’t let texting ruin dating life

How many times have you said the following to your friends, or have they said something like this to you? “We were talking online, and then he asked for my number to make it easier to schedule the date. Well, it’s been a week, and all he does is text with no date in sight!” Or… “I don’t know… I guess I pictured him differently in my head from all his texts.” It happens all the time, someone puts his or her phone number down on a dating site or app and says, “Text me” or “Reach out to me.” Does it really make communicating easier? Isn’t it just as easy to check your email or your Tinder/ JSwipe/ Hinge as it is a text? And really, is there a need to text before the date, except to confirm the day before? ( Very important: do this.) Here’s an idea: Simply exchange numbers a day or two prior to the date so you can 1) confirm and 2) contact each other the day of in case something goes awry — you need to cancel, you’re running late, etc. As a side note, if you’re canceling the day of the date, especially if it’s within a few hours of when you’re supposed to meet each other, please have the decency to call. Beyond the never- ending text relationship that might form with no date in sight, by texting ( or emailing) too much before the date, you run the risk of building a false impression of this person that may not equate to what he or she is like in real life. The New York Post even has a name for this — premature escalation. The article says this: “It’s a trend we’ve coined ‘ premature escalation’… since our whole world is so instant now, people can craft entire personas through their slew of texts… by the time you meet your partner for an actual date, you’ve built up this whole image and fantasy in your head of who you think they are, and then they turn out to be totally different.” What’s the solution then? If you’re intent on texting before a date, try to keep these texts to a minimum, the purpose being to determine the logistics of the date. Whitney Casey, a love expert for Match. com, agrees: “If your date starts sending you How was ‘ your day?’ texts, it’s on you to cut him or her off — nicely,” she says. Try: “Hey — I’m not really a huge texter, but I’m really looking forward to seeing you on Wednesday.”