Home improvement projects reveal hidden talents

The home remodeling project at my house continues, and as a result I’m discovering quite a bit about myself. Skills that I never knew I had.

For example, if I drag or carry a piece of string, rope, hose or power cord, it will 100 percent of the time snag on something. I could be walking across the flattest, smoothest concrete floor, and whatever I’m carrying will catch on something. It’s my superpower.

I have the same talent when using a power tool on a ladder. The odds of the cord catching on a rung and becoming unplugged increase exponentially as I climb. The higher I go, the better the odds of disengagement. If I only go up a couple of steps, the plug only becomes slightly loose — just enough to intermittently prevent the tool from working.

These odds are similar to the ones that coincide with the chance of a screw or bolt slipping out of my hand or off the bit as I begin to screw. The higher up the ladder I go, the likelier the screw will fall and, on really good days, it will fall into a crack or a hole in the floor.

Because of these skills, I’ve also discovered that I have a certain talent for stringing together expletives in such a way that it embarrasses even me. It’s like a whole different person takes over my body for a few seconds.

And apparently when I’m really worked up, I prefer to sing these words in a falsetto that would make Prince proud. This past weekend, after the screw gun became unplugged on three consecutive trips up the ladder, I let loose a barrage that started out as a baritone recital of some really terrible words and morphed into a soaring version of the “Hallelujah Chorus” from Handel’s “Messiah.” Why, I have no idea.

Even I was surprised at not only the passion of my performance but the range. Embarrassing, yet somehow spectacular.

› Lee University graduate Nathan Chapman was one of several people credited with co-producing Keith Urban’s “Ripcord,” which has been nominated for Album of the Year by the Country Music Association.

He joined Urban, Dann Huff, Jeff Bhasker, Tyler Johnson, Greg Wills, Nile Rodgers, busbee, K-Kov and Jonny Price as co-producers on the album.

Chapman graduated from Lee in 2001 and is best known for producing five Taylor Swift albums, winning Grammy Awards for his work on her “Fearless” and “1989” releases.

The CMA Awards will take place Nov. 2 on ABC.