College grad wants to be her true self
DEAR ABBY: I am a bisexual female college graduate living at home and an only child. I have had one sexual encounter with a woman but never a relationship. I have, however, had relationships with men.
I came out to my mother when I was a teenager. She didn’t believe me, but did say that she would not mention it to my other parents or family members. (I have two stepparents as both biological parents remarried.)
I am considering — if I find a woman to go on a date with/be with — pursuing a lesbian relationship. However, I am not financially independent and won’t be for many years. My problem is I’m afraid to do it while I am living at home. My cousins, friends and ex-boyfriends all know, just not my parents, grandparents, aunts, etc. Do I try for my own happiness
and hope for the best, or defer my happiness and only date men? — SCARED TO BE WHO I AM
DEAR SCARED: You are no longer a teenager; you’re an adult now. You should be entitled to have the kind of relationship with which you are most comfortable. If your cousins know about the fact that you are bisexual, the chances are that so do their parents. However, if coming out now would mean that you would be out on the street, I’m advising you to keep your mouth shut and bide your time until you are independent.
DEAR ABBY: We have a co-worker who has been internet dating. She constantly tells her co-workers how horrible the men are and says the same thing about the dates. How do we tell her that it’s not the men, but her? — STUMPED IN SANTA MONICA, CALIF.
DEAR STUMPED: If you’re smart, you won’t — unless she asks.
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