Husband has no sex drive, so wife is leaning to affair

DEAR ABBY: I’ve been in a committed relationship for 19 years, and have been married for three years. My husband is wonderful, except he has absolutely no sex drive. And of course, in the true nature of opposition, mine is off the charts.

I have met another man who is in a loveless marriage. He says they don’t have intimate relations, and she knows he has had “flings” over the years. He has asked me to be his newest “friend with benefits.” He’s attractive, employed, and wants only a physical relationship. (I suspect their marriage is tied to his business, but I’m not sure.) I’m honestly tempted, because I’m lonely in that regard. No marriage is perfect, by any means, but am I biting off more than I can chew even if I get my husband’s permission (which he would likely give), and assuming this man is telling the truth about his wife? What to do? — DESPERATE IN THE NORTH

DEAR DESPERATE: While some open marriages have been known to work if the husband and wife are willing, I hesitate to recommend it. You describe yourself as desperate. You MUST be desperate to consider becoming someone’s latest “fling.”

Did your husband’s low sex drive exist before your marriage, or is it something new? If it is recent, there may be medical help for his problem — if he is willing to talk to his doctor about it. Please suggest it before you do anything else.

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