Five tips for living with teenagers
For 30 years, Floyd and Deborah Richardson have been house parents at Bethel Bible Village, a Christian group home off Hamill Road for children and teens in crisis.
It’s serious, demanding work, but the Richardsons manage to leaven their jobs with humor. They tease one another and laugh like newlyweds.
Over the decades they have helped more than 200 children, modeling to the kids what it’s like to have “parents” who probe but don’t poke, soothe but don’t smother, giggle but don’t goad.
“In an industry where house parents often burn out in two to five years, they are amazing,” says Kathy Casey, director of digital marketing at Bethel.
To discover their secrets for helping teenagers, we sat down with the Richardsons.
Their practical solutions to teen angst and misbehavior are built on experience and common sense. Here are excerpts from the interview
(edited for clarity and brevity):
What do you do when teenagers shut down and won’t tell you what is bothering them?
Deborah: The key is to know your child. Know their mood swings. How were they when they got up that morning? Are there any major events going on, like loss of a best friend?
We may be ready for them to talk, but they’re not ready. Respect that they need time. We say, “We are here when you are ready. I am not trying to invade your space. I’m not here to judge, fix or change you. I’m just listening.”
Floyd: Guys want to handle things themselves. They might say, “I have a friend who’s going through something,” and you know it’s really them.
If I know a kid is dealing with some issues, I might say, “We are going out on the [basketball] court, you are going with us.” If they are out on the court throwing the ball