Comments cause daughter pain
DEAR ABBY: I am a 40-year-old childless single woman. I spent several years doing various day-care jobs and have great love for children, but due to female health issues, I am unable to have my own. I have a great job and home but cannot afford fertility treatments or adoption, both of which are expensive.
My fertility issues have caused me heartbreak and many tears. My father often comments about how disappointed he is that he has no grandchildren. Recently, he made an offhand remark that I was “selfish” for not having had any. It upset me so much I cried for days. Dad is a good man, and I know he didn’t mean to be hurtful.
How do I approach him about how his comment affected me without hurting him? I don’t know how much detail to give him about my fertility issues. Should I just let it be and ignore him when he complains about not having grandkids? — CHILDLESS IN IDAHO
DEAR CHILDLESS:Do ignorethis! your not Tell father thatyou are UNABLEto conceive because of a medical problem and exactly how his comment made you feel.
You should also tell him you are unable to afford fertility treatments or adoption because of the cost involved and not to raise the subject again because it is hurtful and beyond your ability to remedy. Perhaps you could channel your motherly instincts by exploring foster care and other ways you can help children in need.
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