Kennedy

parents and sneaking in to see “Walking Tall” — a biopic about Tennessee Sheriff Buford Pusser — as a 15-year-old in 1973.

› Tube socks. OK, call me crazy, but I actually liked athletic socks that covered the calf. There was something satisfying about pulling up your socks and having them magically stay in place. Tall socks also had room for three horizontal stripes in your team’s colors.

I remember when basketball star “Pistol” Pete Maravich was considered a rebel just for letting his socks droop.

› Archie Bunker. He was perhaps the most famous TV character of the 1970s, and I sometimes wonder if Archie, played brilliantly by actor Carroll O’Connor, could even exist on network television today. In our politically correct times, Archie would no doubt wound some people’s sensibilities.

Satire requires a level of free thought that seems to be sadly lacking today.

› Giant SweeTarts. OK, hold your emails. I am aware that Giant SweeTarts still exist, but today’s are chewy. Back in my day, Giant SweeTarts were as big as door knobs and as dense as river rocks. You could literally gnaw on one all day.

I had a broken front tooth that helped me excavate the edges.

› Gas station attendants. The 1970s were the decade that gave us self-service gas stations. In the beginning, customers had their choice of full-service or self-service islands.

For those of you who don’t like today’s self-service supermarket checkouts, beware that your days of having a choice might be numbered.

› Station wagons. I grew up taking road trips in the family station wagon; namely an Oldsmobile Vista Cruiser. Today, SUVs and crossovers have virtually killed the wagon segment.

It’s a shame. By design, SUVs have a higher center of gravity, which makes them more prone to rollover accidents. Also, their upright stance creates a lot of wind resistance, which reduces fuel economy.

Bring back the low, long wagon, please!

› Shag carpeting. I realize I’m in the minority on this. But there was something about a newly raked — yes, raked — shag carpet that made me smile.

› Chicago. The band, not the city. I heard a Chicago song on an oldies station the other day. The lush arrangement, with horns and rhythm section, made me nostalgic for the days when popular music was sophisticated. Today’s pop stars, with their whispery vocals and synthesized background tracks, are producing what will be judged a dead period in popular music.

› Jimmy Carter. History may judge Carter as an ineffective president, but there was something comforting to me about having a Sunday School teacher in the Oval Office.

Call me old-fashioned. Contact Mark Kennedy at mkennedy@timesfree press.com.