Creationists offer a good laugh

Creationists cry, “Teach the controversy,” by demanding that myths be taught in schools as a legitimate alternative to science. Here are additional “Teach the controversy” alternatives.

› Detecting brain tumors — MRI scans or reading chicken entrails?

› Your arm has been amputated — Get a prosthetic arm or visit a faith-healer with a track record for growing arms?

› The moon — Is it a 4.5 billion-year-old rocky surface, green cheese or Satan’s eyeball?

› Bacterial infections — Antibiotics or snake-handling?

› The Solar Eclipse — Explained by science or a sign from god to smite gays, behead infidels and burn books?

› Your appendix has ruptured — Go to the emergency room or an exorcist?

› Your science professor’s feet — Tarsus, metatarsus, phalanges and surrounding tissue or cloven hooves?

Your child is seriously injured in an accident — Call an ambulance or call Benny Hinn, Jim Bakker or Jimmy Swaggert with your credit card number?

Study for exams or sacrifice a goat? — Selecting a goat for top marks and remove the stench of burnt offerings from your fig-leaf loincloth.

Yes, teach the controversies. Few things in life are better than laughter. Stephen Greenfield Cleveland, Tenn.