The name game
What’s a good name for a retired artist? Drew. What’s a good name for a lion tamer? Claude.
What’s a good name for a retired back-hoe operator? Doug.
What do you call a caveman who wanders aimlessly? Meanderthal.
What do you call a camel without any humps? Humphrey. Man to woman on
elevator: “You look like Helen Green.”
She replies, “I don’t look so good in red either. What’s it to you anyway?”
I worked my way through college boxing. They used to call me “The Artist.” Because I spent so much time on the canvas. When is a bellybutton like a car?
When it is an Audi. Did you hear about the reckless driver?
He drove his expensive car into a tree and found out how the Mercedes bends. Where do jellyfish come from?
Ocean currants.
What do you call a blonde skel- eton in a closet?
The winner of last year’s hideand-go-seek contest!
What do you give a man who has everything? Penicillin.
I resolved to lose 20 pounds by the end of the year.
Only 30 pounds to go.
I opened a tub of margarine and there, in the margarine, was the face of Jesus. I took it around to my neighbor, Mr. Kazamoto, who shook his head and said, “I can’t believe it’s not Buddha.”