Spankings, misguided CVB spending, marathon math and Saturday star

This paper’s Rosana Hughes has had a ton of interesting and in-depth school-related stories in the TFP this week.

The one that caught my eye was Dr. Bryan Johnson, the Hamilton County Department of Education’s new superintendent, saying that he was looking to do away with corporal punishment.

Wow, I was unaware that corporal punishment was still an option for our school leaders. And that came with the news that Tyner Academy was the Spielberg of spankings, the Picasso of paddling, the George Washington of general whippings. (Here’s betting that Tyner football Coach Wayne Turner did not go to his Twitter timeline to learn of this.)

OK. School spankings in this day and age seem as antiquated as those suitcase phones stockbrokers and drug dealers used in the late 1980s.

In fact, it took me back to my days at Griffin Middle School, and Principal Bill Hood.

Kids, until they officially can the corporal approach, here are some tips:

› Do not mess with teachers or administrators who were in fraternities or sororities. Those folks have those heavy wooden paddles.

› Do not underestimate the corporal punishers with science or math backgrounds. They will understand the advantages of holes and aerodynamics in the process.

› Finally, and this may be the most important, if you see a corporal conduit and the handles are worn with grooves and hand-matching imprints, mind your Ps and Qs.

Those are the handprints of experience and will have you paddling up a scream stream.

SUMMER LOOP CLOSED

One of the biggest stories this summer was Hamilton County Commissioner Tim Boyd’s continual conflict with the Chattanooga Convention and Visitors Bureau and that group’s hefty funding.

It was a back and forth that at times got nasty and even petty.

But as the summer became fall and weather turned, Boyd’s assertions were proven true and his attempts in this case to be a sound steward of the tax dollars going to the CVB should be commended.

The CVB mistakes in this view were procedural, but giving millions to create more than a billion is one of the best ways for our government to serve its constituents.

Still, Boyd’s banging drum led to questions and audits and answers. And friends, that’s good government.

It also begs the question of which other county- or city-run agencies deserve more scrutiny.

SPEAKING OF SUMMER QUESTIONS

OK, we’ve had several marathons around the area in the last year or so that have ended with people saying,”Hey Chattanooga is great, and hey, Chattanoogans can’t do math.”

Three times we’ve had races supposed to go a certain distance that either were too long or too short.

Super. And this assuredly will not be on the resume for the next “Best Outdoor City EVER” campaign.

I can assure you I’d rather the math be on the short side than try to run 26.2 miles and have it go long.

It also made us wonder if maybe the 3-State, 3-Mountain bike race was in trouble because people thought they might end up in the Ozarks in the 13-state, 13-mountain challenge. Stupid math.

SATURDAY STAR

On Monday, the good folks at Black Creek Golf Club were part of the sponsorship team that helped the great folks at “Honoring the Sacrifice” put on its annual golf tournament.

For those unaware, “Honoring the Sacrifice” is a support group aimed at helping wounded veterans who have served since the 9/11 attacks. It was started by Andrew and Tori Smith after Andrew was wounded in Afghanistan and lost both his legs from an IED in 2012.

It was a great event and everyone involved — from players to sponsors to volunteers — should be proud.

And here’s a final question for all of us: If you believe the national anthem protests are insulting to the military — and that’s your right — what are you doing to support the military other than condemning the protests?

Maybe you should see how you can help “Honoring the Sacrifice.”

Just a thought. Enjoy the weekend.