Late Night Laughs: Around the White House

Yesterday was an awful day for Trump and the Republicans at the polls. Ed Gillespie, who was running for governor of Virginia, lost his race. He had been heavily endorsed by Donald Trump for a month. Trump had been doing tweets and everything. Now, if you expected Trump to distance himself from Gillespie immediately after the loss, you are wrong. Trump waited a full 28 minutes before he distanced himself. — James Corden

Last night, Danica Roem became Virginia’s first openly transgender person elected to the House of Delegates, defeating Robert Marshall, a conservative Republican who wrote a controversial anti-LGBT bathroom bill. So bad news, Robert. She did get to choose her own bathroom, and she chose the one in your old office. — Seth Meyers

Today, Twitter doubled the amount of characters you can use from 140 to 280 characters. I think this means Twitter is now Facebook, right? They’re basically the same thing — or is it possible there is anyone on the planet who thought, “You know what this year needs? More Twitter.” … I know it sounds crazy but I think I’m going to miss the way Trump would post a tweet that ended with “dot, dot, dot …” and we’d have to wait 23 minutes to see what the rest of his angry sentence was going to be. Now all that drama is gone. — Jimmy Kimmel

President Trump tweeted today that, quote, “NoKo has interpreted America’s past restraint as weakness. This would be a fatal miscalculation. Do not underestimate us and do not try us.” Strong words — except for NoKo. You’re trying to talk about an existential threat to the world. Don’t make it sound like a cool New York neighborhood. — Seth Meyers

President Trump declined to take questions from reporters following his joint statement today with Chinese President Xi, making him the first president to do so in decades. I guess he was afraid someone would ask the dreaded question, “Can you name that person standing next to you?” — Seth Meyers

According to a new poll, a generic Democratic opponent would beat President Trump by 10 points in 2020 election. Yeah, the generics do great. It’s the name brands [shows photo of Hillary] who have trouble. — Seth Meyers