Chattanooga Times Free Press

THOUGHTS ON THANKSGIVI­NG AND THE YEAR

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Here is my annual A.D.D. list of random things I am thankful, and not so thankful, for this year:

› In his quest to shape his legacy, President Trump ordered the execution of 10 Thanksgivi­ng turkeys previously pardoned by Obama.

› I’m glad my friend Rand Paul is OK after his left-wing neighbor squirrel-jumped him while he was mowing his own yard. That is what happens when you crack down on illegal immigratio­n: U.S. senators have to mow their own yards.

› Sexual allegation­s became the new conviction­s. After getting out of prison, O.J. Simpson was thrown out of a Las Vegas hotel for being drunk and combative. Wow — just when you think you know someone! But he is safe; no woman will tweet #MeToo about him inappropri­ately murdering her 25 years ago.

› College edu-crats continue to diminish the value propositio­n of a college education by running up costs, stifling opposing free speech and espousing liberal dogma. They don’t want to be “judged.” They even abandoned a college rating system based on cost and quality of education. Now we are back to the rating system we have always used: the College Football Playoff rankings.

› As the investigat­ion of President Trump drones on, the most damning evidence in this expensive farce points to the previous administra­tion and Hillary. Her book blames everyone but herself for her epic loss. Hillary needs to get more honest and realize she’s polishing the Clinton legacy, not creating a Tinder profile.

› Not to be outdone, and with their shakedown foundation no longer able to operate, Bill Clinton is writing a new book, a crime thriller novel called “My Marriage to Hillary.”

› The Langone Medical center at NYU concluded a study showing human brains remain working for a short time after death. This explains why politician­s can stay in the Senate so long.

› The NFL’s popularity continues to fade. To boost revenue, the NFL is including a can of lighter fluid with the sale of each jersey. Meanwhile, SEC football rolls on. Tickets for the Georgia vs. Alabama championsh­ip game are going for $2,500. That’s nuts; for that kind of dough you can see the first act of “Hamilton” on Broadway.

› Sen. Bob Corker offered some reasoned advice to Trump, igniting a Twitter beatdown response from the president. He called Corker a “lightweigh­t incompeten­t” and made fun of his height by calling him “Liddle Bob Corker.” It’s good to see the frst lady’s program on anti-bullying is working as well as Michelle Obama’s war on obesity did.

› The classified JFK assassinat­ion files were partially released. I’ve been associated with JFK since grade school. I remember our principal announcing JFK’s assassinat­ion over our school loudspeake­r, followed by “Ronnie Hart, please report to the principal’s office.”

› Great news for folks who don’t get good news! Netflix canceled Kevin Spacey’s “House of Cards” over his alleged sexual aggression­s toward young men but renewed its award-winning show “Orange is the New Black.” It’s either the only women’s prison movie men don’t have to immediatel­y delete from their browser history or a documentar­y of the transition of Trump into Obama’s White House.

› Hollywood got mad at Spacey’s statement that implied his being gay meant he was a pedophile. Two different unions. Hollywood has blackballe­d him; the Archdioces­e of Los Angeles wants to award him a parish.

› Trump returned from his important trip to Asia right after China’s president was named the most powerful person in the world. This came as quite a shock to Oprah. Trump visited the statue of the previous prime minister of China, Hu Yao-Bang. He apparently was named for Harvey Weinstein’s casting criteria.

› Thankfully, the drought in California ended, mostly because of normalized seasonal rains but also from all the tears of Left Coast libs when Trump was elected.

Ron Hart is a libertaria­n, syndicated op-ed humorist and award-winning author. Contact him at Ron@RonaldHart.com or @RonaldHart on Twitter. BIBLE WISDOM John 6:37 ESV: All that the Father gives me will come to me, and whoever comes to me I will never cast out.

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Ron Hart

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