Late Night Laughs: Around the White House

› Infighting continues within the Republican Party. On Saturday, Arizona Sen. Jeff Flake was caught on mic when he made a remark, saying, “If we become the party of Roy Moore and Donald Trump, we are toast.” If? If you become the party of Donald Trump? He’s the president of the United States! That’s like the Catholic Church going, “Why does everyone keep associating us with Pope Francis? — James Corden

› Flake was caught on camera dissing his own party, saying, “If we become the party of Roy Moore and Donald Trump, we are toast.” Sen. Flake, that’s a little too hard on toast. — Stephen Colbert

› President Trump pardoned a turkey at the White House today, where he said, “I’m pleased to report that, unlike millions of other turkeys at this time of the year, Drumstick has a very, very bright future ahead of him.” Though I bet the turkey would feel more confident about that if they would stop calling him Drumstick. — Seth Meyers

› But there were actually two turkeys, and before the ceremony the White House tweeted out a poll asking people which turkey should be pardoned. Leave it to Trump to turn a fun annual tradition into “Sophie’s Choice.” — Jimmy Fallon

› Before the ceremony, the White House actually tweeted out profiles for each bird. Kind of cute. This is real. Here’s a profile for Drumstick. It says stuff like, date of birth, height and wingspan. Well, this is kind of weird, after they met Trump, the turkeys actually released a profile of him. Take a look. First it says, date of birth, June 14th, 1946. For height, it says 6’2,” and for height of tie, it says, 6’4.” For wingspan it says 6 feet. And for hand span it says, 3 inches. For mating call, it says, “Come on, Melania, I know you’re not really asleep.” Finally, for bird call, it says, “Tweet, tweet, tweet.” — Jimmy Fallon

› There was some big news out of Washington yesterday. It was announced that the Donald J. Trump Foundation, the Trump family’s charity, is shutting down. He’s shutting down his charity right before Christmas. If Trump wasn’t going to be visited by three ghosts on Christmas Eve before, he definitely is now. — James Corden

› The attorney general says they can’t shut down the charity because it’s currently being investigated. I guess, when they heard Trump was doing something nice for other people, they were, like, “This sounds suspicious.” — James Corden

› CBS just fired Charlie Rose after allegations of sexual harassment. Yep. They told him to clear out his desk, put on some pants and leave. – Jimmy Fallon

› CBS news today fired host Charlie Rose after eight women accused him of sexual harassment. It’s too bad, but if you want to keep your job, you’ve got to get that number up to 16. — Seth Meyers

› Al Franken said that he isn’t resigning, but will spend the next few days reflecting. Reflecting is a political term meaning “hope someone else gets busted and this whole thing blows over.” — Jimmy Fallon Source: www.newsmax.com