For the Love of DOGS
Do you treat Fido like family? You’re not alone. Meet the pet lovers who are crazy for canines—throwing them parties, taking them on vacations and leaving them something in their wills.
Weeks before the big day, Kathy Kontrim begins planning the annual birthday party for her basset hounds, Herbie, Webster and Barney.
Kontrim, an engineer in Memphis, Tenn., reserves a cake made just for dogs, buys party hats, balloons, decorations and favors, and sends out invitations that specify no cats allowed. Last year, 30 dogs showed up for the backyard bash. “When we got out the cake, Herbie knew it was for him,” Kontrim says. “He barked when we sang ‘Happy Birthday.’ ”
Don’t snicker. Kontrim’s on trend. Americans are spending money on and investing emotional energy in dogs like never before. Last year we spent almost $70 billion on our pets, a nearly 70 percent increase from 2007, according to the American Pet Product Association (APPA). Besides throwing them birthday parties, we’re taking them on vacation with us, buying them premium food and taking them to dog-friendly restaurants.
Around 75 percent of us say our dog is part of our family. In fact, more than half of us let our dogs sleep in our beds. Since there are 90 million dogs owned in the United States, that means around 45 million pooches are sharing their human’s pillow on any given night.
What’s going on here? Has something fundamental changed in humans’ ancient relationship with dogs?
Our Dogs, Our Selves
Demographic shifts help tell the story. Nearly 30 percent of U.S. households have just one person in them. That’s nearly double the number of people who lived alone in 1960. Millennials are waiting longer to marry and have children. And baby boomers are living longer, healthier lives. These trends mean there are a lot of people who have the money, time and desire to treat a pet like a child, says John Bradshaw, an honorary research fellow at the University of Bristol in England and author of The Animals Among Us: How Pets Make Us Human.
We’re not the first to treat animals like children, says Bradshaw, who pioneered the study of pet ownership called anthrozoology. Royals and nobles in the Middle Ages had dogs, cats and birds that ate people food and were treated very well, he says. “The recent explosion in indulgent pet-keeping can be seen as a re-expression of an instinctive part of human nature, which our relative affluence allows us to express to an unprecedented extent.”
Dog parties certainly fall into the “unprecedented extent” category. Take Roxy, a Shih Tzu. She had a “bark mitzvah” when she turned 13. Her “dad,” Howard Gelb, a therapist and social worker in Chicago, and her “uncle/babysitter” John Oldakowski, a media company executive, wanted to continue Gelb’s family tradition of throwing the traditional Jewish coming-of-age party for a teen, even if the teen was a dog. “She got gifts and toys. We got her a giant birthday cake from a cute pet boutique,” Oldakowski says. Bark mitzvahs are trendy, and while some dogs wear yarmulkes or are blessed by a rabbi, Roxy was not. “It was just a good excuse for a party,” Oldakowski says.
The people who take their dogs to pet psychic readings, dress them in Halloween costumes and are regulars at “yappy hours” know some of you are laughing at them. And they don’t care. Oldakowski says he overheard a woman in his building telling her husband, “That’s the guy who dresses up his little dog and talks to it all the time.” She doesn’t get it, he says. “I’m not crazy, because talking to that little dog keeps me from going crazy on humans. That little nugget has gotten me through some rough times.”
The Cost of Love
Life expectancies vary by breed, but dogs live twice as long as they did 40 years ago. That means we’re spending more money on grooming, boarding, training, day care, dog walkers and vet bills. The APPA says we shell out around $3,000 per year on a dog, depending on the breed. But most owners say that’s the low end.
“I spend a small fortune on my dogs,” Kontrim says, estimating her costs to be $10,000 total annually, especially when she counts the health insurance and the unexpected expenses, like the furniture she bought for her hounds. “They were taking up the couch and chair and I had no place to sit, so I bought them their own love seat with an ottoman. Barney loves sitting on ottomans.”
Erica Dombroff, who lives in Manhattan with her 10-year-old basset hound, Stanley, says she spends around $8,000 a year on him, including vet visits, dog walkers, dog day care for him so he won’t get lonely while she’s at work and the annual pizza party for him and his friends on his birthday. She says she’s embarrassed to admit she spends that much, but Stan, who is a rescue, is
‘I’m not crazy, because talking to that little dog keeps me from going crazy on humans.’ —John Oldakowski
worth it. He was traumatized and unhealthy when she got him, she says, and helping him heal made her a better person. “Stanley is my child and best friend,” she says. “He keeps me grounded. I like to think we rescued each other.”
Have Canine, Will Travel
Nearly 40 percent of us take our pups on vacation now, nearly double the number who did so a decade ago.
Jen Barol, a social worker in Albuquerque, N.M., is one of them. She took Henry, her Australian cattle dog, on road trips all over the West before he died a few years ago. “I had a bumper sticker that read ‘Dog is my copilot,’ and there would be Henry in the passenger seat with his head sticking out of the window. He was my co-everything. We went everywhere together,” she says.
Roxy, the Jewish Shih Tzu, also goes on vacations with her humans. “She loves to travel,” says Oldakowski. “I have to hide the travel backpack because she’ll jump in as soon as she sees it.” Roxy has a scrapbook of her travels to Arizona, Florida and California, where she got a selfie with singer LeAnn Rimes at her show in Palm Springs.
What’s in It for Humans?
Ask a pet owner what they get for the homemade treats, trips to the dog park and $1,000 dental cleanings at the vet, and they’ll tell you it’s about companionship. Unconditional love. Happiness. “When I come home from even the worst day, they are glad to see me,” Kontrim says of her bassets. “They bring me joy.”
Indeed, science has proven dogs have the power to turn your frown into a smile. When you pet a dog, your body produces oxytocin and endorphins, hormones that lift your mood and strengthen the emotional bond between you and your fur kid. Oxytocin is the hormone that bonds a mother to a child and one lover to another.
“Simply watching dogs playing or goofing around helps people feel happier and more relaxed,” Bradshaw says.
And in 2018, who doesn’t need more good chemicals in their brain? Sometimes it feels as if love is in short supply in this world, says Barol. “Animals fill that void. They make us feel valuable. They don’t just notice us; they pay close attention to us. Who wouldn’t want to nurture that bond?”