A MODERN-DAY PLAYBOY LOVE STORY
About 40 million tax dollars into the Mueller farce of a “Russian collusion investigation,” another TMZ-like story has been unearthed. The heavy-handed, ceremonious and against-all-legal-precedent raid of Trump personal lawyer Michael Cohen’s home and offices revealed that they may have discussed paying a bimbo for her silence in 2016.
In their honorable pursuit of justice, Robert Mueller, the FBI (Peter Strzok/ Andrew McCabe), DOJ’s Lisa Page, et al, have said how important their investigations are. In such political prosecutions, they will go where press leaks lead them.
We are told that the FBI and DOJ (along with 17 other duplicitous federal law enforcement agencies with unlimited, taxpayer-funded budgets and scant accountability) exist to “protect Americans.”
In this FBI/DOJ prosecution, it’s important to justice that they follow the facts in this case, no matter how many porn stars and Playboy Bunnies they lead to.
It is interesting how Trump, who has the strong support of evangelicals, keeps having Clintonian “bimbo eruptions.” Clearly, Trump is well schooled in Scripture. Who can forget his answer when asked his favorite Bible verse? “Corinthians Two.” In explanation, Trump said he’s pretty sure Corinthians Two was the second tweet of the Apostle Paul to the Corinthians.
To be fair to Trump, he may have confused Corinthians Two with a leather vendor once used at one of his hotels.
The current tally on Trump is three wives and multiple affairs counting one porn star and a Playboy Bunny, none of which he admits. He is just adhering to his modern interpretation of the Seventh Commandment: Thou Shalt Not Admit Adultery.
So Trump’s eager, legal eagle “fixer” attorney Michael Cohen (who looks like a Staten Island massage parlor lookout) did some dirty work for The Donald. Not surprising.
Attorney Cohen reminds me of the hard-working, eager-to-please attorney law firms love to hire. It is what law firm partners look for. When they recruit a young lawyer, they have a partner take him to his country club for dinner and show him the nicest houses on the best street in town. Then they let him know, “If you work hard for years at this firm, all this …will be mine.”
So, in the continuation of these political prosecutions, the Trump tape seized in the raid of his attorney’s office was leaked. “I am shocked,” said no one paying attention to all this.
I am surprised at the hypocrisy of the left, which historically wants to limit secret surveillance by government, loves Russia, hates McCarthyism, loves attorney/client privilege and hates law enforcement, yet cheers all this on. Reflect on the irony. They need to think where the dark side of this spectrum ends. These days, intellectual honesty in that party is about as hard to find as a white Southern Democrat.
Our corrupted FBI and DOJ are hot on the trails of a Playboy Bunny and a porn star. It seems appropriate that Stormy Daniels and the FBI are tied together in this probe, since the FBI has changed its position on camera as many times as she has.
This might be the golden age for my humor column: the Playboy Bunny in this case is trying to lift a “gag” order, and the owner of the tabloid is named Pecker. Some jokes just write themselves.
For the kids out there, Playboy was a magazine run by an 80-year-old man, Hugh Hefner, who burnished his brand by assembling hordes of women up to half his age in his sex mansion in Los Angeles.
Then, one day, they just stopped objectifying women, with little notice. Now Playboy is PC and doing a transgender issue, which I presume is a pop-up book.
Just the thought of the now-defunct Playboy magazine in print is nostalgic to a person like me who writes op-ed satire. I was the only boy in Maury County, Tennessee, who read Playboy for the jokes.
Contact Ron Hart at Ron@RonaldHart.com or on Twitter.