Teen’s relationship with Dad gets uncomfortable
DEAR ABBY: My dad has never really been in the picture. He just pops back in and out whenever he wishes and leaves when things get too hard. He has never had a job or a home since he walked out on my mother when I was 7. Recently he seems to have settled back here in town where my siblings and I live. I’m 18 and the oldest of three.
Since I have finally forgiven him for all the pain he’s caused, I sometimes accept when he invites me out to eat or watch a movie. He doesn’t own a car, so I give him rides when he needs them.
My problem is, he gets very touchy-feely. For example, when I’m driving, he’ll put his hand on my thigh. Or when we’re out together, he’ll hold my hand and say, “Pretend to be my girlfriend.” Of course, I immediately let go of his hand. Then he’ll “playfully” hug me and force me to be close to him.
I don’t know how to tell him he makes me feel uncomfortable. I have recently stopped answering his phone calls, but I feel bad because I would like a normal relationship with my father. How do I get him to start acting less like a creep and more like a father? — DESPERATELY NEEDING ADVICE
DEAR DESPERATELY NEEDING: You may wish for a normal relationship with your father, but from your description, it never has been. Your father’s behavior is extremely inappropriate. You might be able to get him to stop “acting like a creep and more like a father” by telling him in plain
English to cut it out. If he persists, avoid him, and do not feel guilty about it.
And if your siblings are female, talk to them and warn them about their father’s impulses — if they don’t already know.
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