Emotions are the blips that signify life
Wow, what a topsy-turvy world we live in! Things are changing faster than we can keep up. Relationships are being tested in and outside of the family … across the nation … overseas. It isn’t just the USA. It’s worldwide. Many citizens are unsettled and unhappy with their government. The rich are getting richer — the poor poorer. There must be a breaking point. When? How? Where?
Dad, your own personal life is no doubt caught up in the confusion of today. Imagine what it must be like for your adolescent children or your teenagers. Confusion and bewilderment already come with the territory of youth. Life today just piles it on. The negative influences, the lack of role models, the general incivility among people are not helping you as a parent to deal with your kids.
STIR THE POT, DAD
Before you get too concerned about this hodgepodge of feelings, consider how fortunate you and your family are to experience the whole range of human emotions.
Some people, young and old, would have to blow the dust off themselves before they could feel anything! These people have become set in their ways, allergic to surprises or alternative ways of seeing or thinking. Their thoughts and actions are entirely predictable.
Your job, dad, is to stir the pot, make some waves, give your kids space to respond to a mixed bag of stimuli in their lives and honestly express their opinions on any subject. Don’t allow the spectrum of your emotions — or the emotions of your kids — to range from awake to asleep.
In George Orwell’s futuristic book, “1984,” the characters lacked emotions. Their spirits had been destroyed. Imagine your son or daughter bringing home a report card with straight A’s and no one reacting one way or another. Picture a basketball game in which the spectators expressed no excitement, joy or devotion to a team. If you have young children, think what Christmas morning would be like without any human emotion.
BLIPS
Emotional ups and down mean you’re alive. You need to nurture those sensitivities in your children’s lives. In the hospital, when the heart monitor blip dances up and down, that signifies life. When the blip glides in a straight line, it means life is gone. Enjoy your ups. Accept your downs. Make it clear to your children that emotional highs and lows are the fabric of life, woven by luck, experience and one’s own actions and reactions.
Suggest to your children that they keep a journal of their emotions to be shared around the dinner table or whenever you can carve out 10 minutes to spend with each other. Ask your kids to pay close attention to their sudden or subtle mood swings. Talk about how they should accept and use these emotions to enrich their lives.
Tom Tozer and Bill Black are authors of “Dads2Dads: Tools for Raising Teenagers.” Like them on Facebook and follow them on Twitter at Dads2Dadsllc. Contact them at tomandbill@Dads2Dadsllc.com.