Pets in charge

Reddit asked pet owners: What “rule” has your pet instituted in your house that you now follow? Some of the answers:

› If my dog stands in front of you, looks back and puts her butt near you, you must smack the booty.

› If my parrot asks “What are you doing?” anyone in the immediate vicinity has to respond with what they are doing. He will throw a tantrum if he doesn’t get an answer.

› We call it “paying the toll.” Our [Dachshund] will instantly steal your spot if you get up to go to the bathroom or something, and she won’t move until you’ve sufficiently rubbed the belly. So to get your seat back, you have to pay the toll!

› If Gizmo places his paw gently upon human’s foot, human must pick him up. If human does not pick him up, Gizmo is allowed to bite big toe.

› Our idiot cat, Potato, is a spoiled princess who won’t eat her food unless someone picks her up and gently sets her in front of her bowl. My boyfriend encourages and enables this behavior, to the point where now if you put food in her dish, she won’t even look at it until she is carried over.

› If my Maine coon stares at you silently, he must be picked up and held or you WILL be tripped the moment you try to walk.

› My boyfriend and I pretty much have to shut up by 9 p.m. or my dog (who is trying to sleep) will groan really loud.

› There is a “right” toy to play with that changes every day. You must try all 20 toys until you get the right one.

› I have to sleep with my back to my boyfriend so the cat can snuggle into my hair while smelling my boyfriend’s breath.

› When my dog hears me getting his food ready, he points with his long nose at the place where his bowl goes repeatedly until I put it down.

› My dog refuses to go to sleep until my mum tucks him in with his blanket and toys and has told him goodnight. He will throw a tantrum and bark for hours if he isn’t tucked in by 8:30, so now the official family bedtime is at sunset just to keep the dog happy.

› Our cat scratches the furniture to be let out. Now this is the clever part: She only learned that from me throwing her out… for scratching the furniture.