Looking for an ‘essential job’? Don’t forget Mother’s Day

So, how’s your life in a pandemic going?

It’s an unreal time. A time that prompted Warren Buffett to admit to a $4 billion investment misstep. A time that forced us to watch an Iceland man deadlift more than half a ton instead of a Braves game over the weekend.

It’s also a time for mom. Sure, every time is a time for mom. That’s how great mothers are.

But this week, especially, considering Sunday is her designated day.

Like everything else in this time, Sunday will be a Mother’s Day unlike any before it.

Valentine’s Day is simple. Father’s Day is a mixed blessing of neckties, golf on TV and naps. Halloween is candy and costumes.

But you can’t just go with flowers and chocolates, neck wear or a bag full of Almond Joys.

So, what are we supposed to do? First, we need to start quickly. There are logistics to think about, folks. Imagine the delivery backlog florists, Edible Arrangements and Bezos’ boys will have over the next week.

Plus, the familiar go-to of a nice after-church lunch/ brunch is now stuck in the vortex of personal liberty vs. public health. And if you’re still going to try to sneak into The Bluff View, well, if restaurants are operating at half capacity, you better get in line sometime Friday afternoon.

First, trust your instincts. Who knows your mom better than you? Now, if your instincts are handwritten gift certificates for unloading the dishwasher, well, pull up a chair. The Corona Mama Celebration may point you in a new direction.

Go practical. Hand sanitizer is a great start. Heck, if you are lucky enough to grab some Lysol spray, wrap that can and be done. That’s a gesture of sharing and caring these days.

They’re running a special for the ShamWow mask on the TV. You remember the ShamWow, the all-purpose, leak-proof miracle rag that holds 10 times its weight in liquid? It’s the towel version of the Ginsu knife, which I did get for my mom one time back in the 1970s. I ruined it when I tried to cut a Coke can, though.

So you have to believe the ShamWow mask will make mom say “thank you.” Well, it will make her say something, all right.

Go humorous. There are funny phrases on coffee mugs, socks with sayings, and a slew of laugh-inducing kitchen knickknacks from singing egg timers to oven mitts that look like bear paws.

Those are especially useful gift ideas for the young ones.

Go proper. With all apologies to the homonym, do not whine and buy some wine.

Trust me. There are few better ways to celebrate in this time than to let mom say “Sip, Sip Hooray.”

If that fails, you can never go wrong with those three magic words — no, not “Social distance, please” — and a good old-fashioned hug.

Just as long as you’re

6 feet away, that is.