The rules of Nap Day, A to Zzzzzz
I would like to create a new holiday: National Nap Day.
Why?
Because we deserve it. This requires no act of Congress or public referendum, merely a voice vote from anyone within the reach of these words.
All in favor say “aye.” (I hear a thundering chorus of concurrence.)
All opposed?
Hearing no “nays,” the ayes have it. So, let it be written. So, let it be done. Today is officially National Nap Day in America.
So, at some point today, feel free to curl up on your favorite bed, couch or futon and sleep like a log. (I have never really understood the sleep-like-a-log simile, but whatever.)
My sister told me the other day that Jesus took naps. I don’t remember that from Sunday School, but I’m going to take her word for it and try to apply WWJD to my Sunday afternoon between NFL games.
I have always been a gifted sleeper, needing no special occasion for a nap. There seems to be a special healing power associated with an afternoon snooze. A good one-hour rest transforms me from groggy to semialert, which, at my age, is an improvement.
Our dog Boise, a poodle-spaniel mix, often hops on the bed with me, circles twice and then arranges himself in the crook of my knees as I sleep on my side. I find this comforting.
As the self-appointed president of the National Nap Day club, I would like to set forth a few bylaws that will guide our celebration of the napping activity today and beyond.
› The first rule of Nap Club is never talk about Nap Club. There are some anti-nappers out there who love to ridicule those of us who enjoy a good daytime sleep.
Let’s keep this club our little secret. Those of you working at home these days know what I mean. If we want to break our workday in half and sandwich in a 30-minute siesta, that’s our business.
› Never set an alarm. I know this is controversial, but a nap by nature is a sleep of indeterminate length. If you set an alarm, your subconscious is going to be in a
defensive crouch. You want your sleeping mind to be stress-free.
› If you have a ceiling fan and/or a noise machine, by all means, turn them on. There’s something hypnotic about white noise. It will help you nap more soundly. (A televised golf tournament will also do the trick.)
› Don’t snack before a nap. Let hunger be your wake-up call.
› Don’t speak to anyone for five minutes after you rise.
It’s a proven fact that medium-length naps can make you grumpy. There’s some part of your brain that thinks you are down for the night and resents being told otherwise.
› Invest in a good pillow.
There’s nothing worse than waking up from a nap with a crick in your neck. Yes, crick is a real word, from the Middle English “crikke” for muscular spasm of the neck. It’s not something your Granny made up.
› Don’t fold down the covers on your bed for your nap, but, in the winter months, do use a quilt. There is no better nap companion than a quilt, preferably one that has been in your family for generations.
› Be kind to other nappers. As a parent, there is no greater joy than watching one of your children napping. Each time they inhale, it validates the circle of life.