It’s completely time to recount the votes, plus spinning Wheels and thanks coach
I am now convinced that we need to review every ballot and recheck every vote.
Every last one, to make sure the tallies are right and there was no chicanery in the process.
Because there simply is no other way that the vote this paper hosted that has mashed potatoes in the top two of Thanksgiving sides is on the up-and-up.
No way.
Yes, mashed potatoes are the Jordan of the side dish category almost every other day of the year. Just not Thanksgiving.
Heck, mashed potatoes are not even the most traditional or best Thanksgiving side item. That spot is owned by the sweet potato in its various forms and soufflés.
The fix is definitely in, and we may need a team of attorneys to get to the bottom of this. Our American democracy could very well depend on it.
WINNING IN THE END
I have a strange affinity for some strangely specific things.
Like the NFL draft and those moments in sports that make it inexplicably dusty wherever you may be.
Game shows are on that list too, in part because of the glimpse into humanity like the latest example from “Wheel of Fortune.”
The puzzle category was “What are you doing” and the board was “D_CL_RING _ICT_RY.” A contestant buzzed in on the toss-up as the host said, “What are you doing?”
The contestant got too casual and said, “I’m declaring victory.” Strict WoF rules demand that when it comes solving time, no extra words are allowed, so the answer was wrong.
Still, if you think there is karma in botching “declaring victory” (feel free to insert a Trump joke here if you would like), know this: The contestant who stumbled on that puzzle was still the big winner and took home more than $32,000 in cash and prizes.
Yeah, I’d declare that a victory, all things considered.
OBIT OBSERVATIONS
The obit suggestions — locally and around the country — you guys and gals send are great. Here’s one from regular reader Debbie:
“Did you see the obit for Billy Joe Gill? Said he was a third-generation moonshiner. I looked for it in your column — I couldn’t help but think of you.”
Yes, I assumed that Debbie was referencing our habitual chats about obits in this space rather than my writing makes her think I’m swilling moonshine with lunch.
That said, the multiple household names from the high school sports world that have passed recently have given me pause. There are few titles that have the chance to have as much positive impact as someone you call “Coach.”
Think of the long line of lives that were touched, shaped and even transformed by Catherine Neely or Clifford Kirk or even Rick Smith, who was a coach long before he was the school system’s superintendent.
I knew all three of them, but not as my coach, so I called the coaches I had who had an impact on me just to say thanks.