Chattanooga Times Free Press

Vaccines are here, but online dating isn’t quite back to ‘normal’ just yet

- Erika Ettin is the founder of A Little Nudge (www.alittlenud­ge.com), where she helps others navigate the often intimidati­ng world of online dating.

After an entire year of masks, hand sanitizer and social distancing, many singles are more than ready to jump back into in-person dating. But there’s a problem: Not everyone is as eager to move from messaging and phone calls to face-to-face just yet.

Millions of Americans are receiving the COVID-19 vaccine each day, and with each shot comes hope for a return to “normal” in the near future. But just like it was during the height of the pandemic, people have different levels of comfort when it comes to meeting — let’s call it what it is — essentiall­y a stranger. While some are open to outdoor dining or a walk in the park, others don’t want to move past video chats and phone calls at the moment — and that’s completely their prerogativ­e.

Take an online dating client who was recently shamed for not wanting to meet until he was fully vaccinated. In a message to a woman he was chatting with, he asked if she wanted to set up a phone call and mentioned that he was getting his first COVID-19 vaccine this week.

“What does the shot have to do with anything?” the woman responded. “Are you saying you wouldn’t meet up until fully vaccinated?”

Not only is the woman quite rude, she’s completely attacking him. If he doesn’t want to meet until two weeks after his second Moderna or Pfizer shot, which is when the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention says a person is fully vaccinated, that’s completely logical. Even though you’re willing to meet up before being fully vaccinated doesn’t mean others are just as comfortabl­e with that risk.

If you’re not willing to meet in person until you’re fully vaccinated, that’s absolutely fair. You may not even want to meet until both you and the person you’re meeting are two weeks out from having received the shots, and that’s OK too. Or if you opt to meet in person before being vaccinated, that’s up to you — as long as both parties are aware and at ease.

Many online daters have chosen to add their vaccinatio­n status to their profiles — and why not? Getting your shot should be worn as a badge of honor.

Not only does adding that you’ve gotten the vaccine to your bio show you’ve done your part to stop the spread (and therefore, have a worry-free date!), but you can also give a little glimpse of your personalit­y while you’re at it. And if you feel like you’re bragging a little, that’s perfectly OK too.

You can incorporat­e it into your dating profile in plenty of fun ways. You can keep it short and sweet, writing something like, “Vaccinated and vacation-ready!” or “I’m an introvert, and even I was first in line to get the COVID-19 vaccine.”

The lesson here is one that can be learned whether in the middle of a worldwide pandemic or not, during online dating and just in everyday life: Be respectful of others. Don’t make them feel guilty or ashamed for doing what they’ve decided to do for themselves. If it doesn’t match up with your personal beliefs — and you feel it’s a deal breaker — it’s your responsibi­lity to kindly move on.

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Erika Ettin

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