Hurricane Hawkins, joking judge’s poor judgment and big bets in Tennessee

So, have you heard of Hurricane Hawkins taking Louisiana by storm?

No, rest easy, this is not a swirling mess in the gulf that will cause a billion dollars in damage to a city already below sea level.

Hurricane Hawkins is a good, natural phenomenon. Hurricane Hawkins is Julia Hawkins, the new world record holder in her age group for the 100-meter run with a time of 63 seconds that surprised even her.

Granted, the team photo for Hurricane Julia’s age group — she’s 105, gang — is about as crowded as one of honest D.C. politicians.

Heck, some mornings I have a hard time counting to 100. And at the tender age of 105, getting out of bed in 1 minute and 3 seconds, never mind running 100 meters, is reason to celebrate.

Way to go Hurricane.

JUDGE NEEDS A JURY

Jokes are hard. You know. You read my column.

But judges making jokes about how people can get away with crimes are not funny. And they are not appropriate.

I know Gerald Webb. I like Gerald Webb. And I abhor the cancel culture around all of us. Too many people are just waiting around to topple the most earnest among us for the slightest of missteps.

But somewhere behind the cancel culture line is the “consequence culture,” and Webb’s good work should never be undone by a social media mistake.

Still, if the county fire chief was giving tips to arsonists, well, there should be some sort of repercussions, no?

SURE THINGS

OK, this is not going to shock anyone who knows an end zone from the ozone or anyone Southern enough to recognize the difference between a green bean and a string bean.

But Southerners in general and Tennesseans in particular are putting their money where their passion lives.

With football starting, more than $257.3 million was bet in the month of September through Tennessee’s legal online sports wagering system. That was more than a 78% increase from the amount wagered in August.

In 11 months of official totals — legalized sports gambling in the Volunteer State started Nov. 1, 2020 — Tennesseans have wagered just short of $2 billion, so it’s almost a certainty that more than that total was wagered in the first year. In those 11 months, the state has received 20% of taxable revenue — right at $27 million — from its online partners.

September also was a record-setting month for the online betting hosts, as they reported $25.6 million in gross revenue, which was close to double August and topped the previous monthly high of more than

$20 million in January.

That was the first sure thing. The second of course is Alabama today against overmatched New Mexico State, which is a 52-point underdog. On the money line, you would have to wager $100,000 on Alabama to win straight up to win $100. Conversely, if you bet $100 on NMSU, and they found a way to turn back the Tide, it would pay $75,000.

OBIT OBSERVATIONS

When life ends, I wonder about the first-word legacies we leave behind.

Some are tough. Some are fair. Some may be called gracious or brave.

I’m not sure which would be the best, but I know when you have a hard time choosing — and all of the above words seem to fit — yours was a life well-lived.

The Rev. Clark Williams died Nov. 3, the head of a family that included his wife of 55 years, Doris, and five generations of descendants. Williams was 87.

Beyond being a devoted family man, his life of myriad challenges is hard to ignore. He was a Marine who worked at U.S. Pipe and TVA. He was called to the ministry and led churches and worked at John P. Franklin Funeral Home, too.

That’s more circles than Saturn — and 87 years of fullness.