Making a difference
A former investigator who became an author and victim advocate shared his story of survival this week to highlight the importance of crisis centers.
“You can make a difference,” Kevin McNeil said. “I know for sure that you and I were not born just to complain about what’s wrong with the world. We were born to create a better world.”
McNeil was the keynote speaker at the “Rise 2023 a Night to Empower” event Thursday hosted by the Partnership for Familes, Children and Adults crisis and service center at the Westin hotel in downtown Chattanooga. More than 75 people attended and made donations that surpassed $16,000.
The partnership offers programs of support to victims of partner abuse, children victims of abuse and sexual assault, as well as providing services for the elderly, and support services for the hearing and vision impaired, in the Chattanooga and Hamilton County areas.
McNeil, a Memphis native, worked as a special victims unit investigator for the Atlanta Police Department before writing seven books, some of which focus on teaching parents how to identify signs of abuse in their children.
Starting on a lighthearted note, McNeil quipped about his height, his snoring and his love for eating, before telling the story of a 12-year-old boy who was brutally raped and almost killed.
“He was like any other boy,” McNeil said. “He had hopes, passions and dreams. In fact, this little boy wanted to be a bodybuilder, not because he wanted muscles. He wanted to be a bodybuilder because he was made fun of all his life.”
To a captivated audience, McNeil detailed how the child was relentlessly bullied and would come home crying after school and begged his mother for a weight set until his mother let him know she could not afford one. Disillusioned, the boy continued to be bullied, until he made a new friend at school.
“This new student was weird,” McNeil said. “Wore hand-me-downs just like this little boy, but people didn’t mess with this little kid because he had muscles” — adding that the new boy in town had a set of weights and invited him over.
After asking his mother for permission to go to his new friend’s house to use the weights, his mother agreed under the condition that “he come back home before dark.”
One evening, however, the child lost track of time and ran home when he realized it was dark outside. Taking a shortcut to get home sooner, he was stopped by a strange man who lured him under the bleachers of a high school football stadium with the promise of free weights.
“Before the boy could respond, knowing that he’s in trouble, the man grabs hold of the boy and begins to pummel this little boy’s face repeatedly with his grown man hands,” McNeil said. “He prayed for his life. … He didn’t know why a man would want to harm him.”
McNeil went on to say how the child was then sexually assaulted and then the man tried to kill him by attempting to strangle him, and by hitting his head against a hard surface, causing him to bleed.
“Upon remembering what his mom told him to do, he didn’t want to let his mom down. This little boy began to fight that man,” McNeil said. “He broke that man’s grasp, and he ran as fast as he could towards the edge of those bleachers. He ran across the football field.”
To an emotional audience, McNeil revealed he was the child
who then walked the rest of the way home with bruises on his face and bloody injuries to his head and his body.
As an adult, McNeil battled with depression, alcoholism and suicidal thoughts while working as an officer with the Atlanta Police Department, until he became a detective, he said.
“My first assignment as a detective was to investigate a case involving a little boy, how ironic was that?” McNeil said. “That the boy was molested by his uncle, and they told me to go in and observe his interview (at a crisis center).”
“When I watched them interview, this little boy, they didn’t sit in front of him like the Police Department told me, they sat beside him,” McNeil said. “They didn’t actually tell the child where to sit, they allowed the child to choose where to sit, they would give the child power over their story, and it was so much different than when they told me as a police officer.”
McNeil now trains police departments in trauma response for child victims of assault and sexual assault and gives talks about the importance of crisis centers such as the Partnership for Families, Children and Adults in Chattanooga.
“We’re not immune in this local community,” said Liz Ahmed, the partnership’s board president. “We believe it’s critical to have strong and healthy communities where we live and where we work. Partnership’s mission to empower people and build communities is more critical than ever.”