What is permanent lettuce? A pageant of hockey hair
Making the state tournament is a big deal for boys who play high school hockey in Minnesota, where the best of the best face off — with championships on the line — at the Xcel Energy Center in St. Paul.
And while the tournament is a four-day smorgasbord of slap shots, glove saves and power plays, it has evolved into a full-blown spectacle — as the global hub for “hockey hair.”
“As soon as our players make the state tournament, it’s like, ‘Guys, come on, we’ve got to play hockey now,’” Ryan Neuman, the coach at New Ulm High School, said in an interview. “And they’re busy making hair appointments to get perms.”
Hockey hair has ranked among the sport’s more curious traditions for decades, stretching back to the days when NHL greats such as Guy Lafleur, Marty McSorley and Al Iafrate (for whom being bald up top was no great deterrent) took the ice with epic mullets.
With its tight sides and elongated caboose, the mullet is conducive to the hockey-specific concept of “flow,” a heightened state of being achieved whenever a player’s long hair pours out from under his helmet and billows behind him as he zips up and down the ice.
As a long-standing form of team bonding, many high school players in Minnesota — where the demographics of both the sport and state are decidedly white — get their mullets carefully coifed before making the trip to St. Paul. And because the state tournament games are broadcast by KSTP, a local ABC affiliate, pregame introductions have morphed into a sort of pageant to determine who can out-mullet their peers.
“You get to show all the girls — everybody, really — what your hair looks like,” said Robbie Stocker, the coach at St. Cloud Cathedral High School. “It might be one of those you-have-to-befrom-Minnesota type things. But it’s something we care about and something we do, I guess.”
The standout looks are immortalized by John King, an advertising executive who compiles an annual “All Hockey Hair Team” for Pulltab Sports.
Kaden Larson, a senior forward at New Ulm, cracked King’s Top 10 list, at No. 2, thanks to a majestic, bleach-blond mane his teammates said made him look like Mufasa from “The Lion King.” In his video, King describes Larson as “Hoppenheimer, because
“As soon as our players make the state tournament, it’s like, ‘Guys, come on, we’ve got to play hockey now.’ And they’re busy making hair appointments to get perms.”
— RYAN NEUMAN, COACH AT NEW ULM HIGH SCHOOL
that is some nuclear salad.”
(“Salad” is hockey talk for hair. So is “lettuce.” As in: That’s a great head of lettuce.)
“I was a little surprised,” Larson said, “but I also knew my hair was pretty solid.”
At this year’s tournament, which ended Saturday with St. Cloud Cathedral and Edina High School winning state titles, about half of the 16 teams showed up with bleached mullets.
“We thought we were going to stand out,” said Ford Skytta, a sophomore forward for Hermantown High School, “and we blended in even more.”
But when most zigged, a few zagged. Among the contrarians was Graff Mellin, a junior forward for Hermantown, who wanted to spice up his self-described “long, ginger hair.” His older brother Britton showed him a photo of former NBA star Dennis Rodman with a leopard print hairdo.
Mellin expressed reservations — spring break and prom were coming up, plus senior photos this summer — but his brother was persuasive. It was the state tournament, after all. He would be on television. Who knew if he would ever have this chance again?
So, for four hours, Mellin planted himself at Ihana Salon, where his stylist, Jessica Knowles, experienced some anguish as she buzzed off his “wonderful hockey hair” and dyed what remained. Mellin acknowledged the early feedback was mixed.
“My girlfriend definitely wasn’t a fan,” he said.
But the payoff soon became clear. At the tournament, Bauer Hockey captured Mellin’s new look in a widely shared TikTok. King, who often refers to Hermantown as “Hairmantown” in his highlight videos, weighed in, too.
“A snow leopard escaped from Hairmantown,” King said on the video as a snarling Mellin skates toward a camera. “If you see it, be careful. It needs a tetanus shot.”
Bryer Lang, a senior forward at New Ulm, had a distinct advantage: His mother, Melissa McMullen, has a hair salon. As a result, Lang was able to refine his look before the state tournament, adding flourishes — highlights on top, bleach to the sides — to his permed mullet. He shared his mental calculus.
“Look good, feel good,” he said.
McMullen said she was initially wary of perming her son’s mullet.
“You’re going against your better judgment,” she said. “But you know deep down that this is what these boys want, and you really just want to make them feel good.”
Lang also was among several players from New Ulm who grew — or at least tried to grow — mustaches. Lang augmented his with black hair dye, his mother said.
“Some of them actually think they look good,” Neuman said. “But you know what? They’re high school kids. You’ve got to let them have a little fun.”