DON’T MINIMIZE THE VALUE OF OUR ELDERS
All too often we look at the elderly as society’s outliers. Even our presidential election is embedding in our minds that being old is a nonstarter. It’s seems harder and harder for some people to interact with an elderly person and feel that they are experiencing a great moment. Instead, we treat the elderly as in need of our sympathy and charity. Nothing could be further from the truth.
In this digital age when real conversation, kindness and even smiling are lost “arts,” we need seniors — and their wisdom — now more than ever. That became clear when I joined the fitness class offered every day at 10 a.m. at the East Ridge Community Center. Arriving a bit early, I was greeted enthusiastically by Pat, the instructor. Pat created and has led the senior programming at the East Ridge Community Center for 17 years. The program has 650 participants. Pat is dedicated to providing seniors with a variety of physical and social activities, exactly what they need to maintain quality lives: walking, line dancing, fitness exercises, celebrations and fellowship. As I stood behind my chair where my “tools” rested (a ball, band and weights), one of the regulars came up to me and explained that we stand in front of the chair for the exercises. I thanked her, then she explained that of course, she’d help me. We’re all family here.
Other folks in the room came up to me and introduced themselves and told me they may not remember names, but they always remembered faces. After class, we connected by talking about the weather, road repairs and backyards. This reminded me of young people who requested that I teach them how to do “small talk.” For much of the younger generation, communication is reduced to text messages and emojis. Conversation to establish connections is natural for seniors, but not for our youth. And we need that to change.
Experts often underscore how the art of conversation has a major role in developing the leaders of the future. That art, often called “soft skills,” is well-known to have eroded during the pandemic. But the erosion phenomenon isn’t new. Years ago, when I was research coordinator at the UTC College of Engineering and Computer Science, several industry representatives at a job fair asked me to help boost much-needed soft skills.
COVID intensified that trend. Can upcoming generations acquire and refine these soft skills? How will they develop these relationship building blocks that are vital to effective leadership? Maybe they should come to the senior fitness class. It’s mind-changing to see the perseverance and determination of the seniors, and I bet many young visitors would struggle to keep up with the seniors’ moves. Mingling with the seniors after class would be an invaluable lesson in traditional communication skills. It’s a demonstration that what is old is new again, and rather than being “outdated,” the art of conversation goes way beyond having a screen be their primary mode of interaction.
Happily, there have been experiments with young people and seniors living together resulting in a trend with a distinct academic flavor. Almost 100 U.S. colleges have developed retirement communities and facilities on or near their campuses. It’s often retired college alumni who apply to become neighbors, mingle with their present-day counterparts and create inter-generational living. Yes, some students say assisting some of the seniors can be time consuming, but they learn invaluable lessons, different perspectives and skills. We should advocate for intergenerational education and not delay. Students need it now!