A BOWL OF LAUGHS
Patton Oswalt has cereal and sincerity on his mind in smart new special
The late great comics Don Rickles and Sam Kinison commanded the stand-up stage like rock stars. They blasted their genius with the sound turned up to 11.
Kevin Hart and Chris Rock aren’t quite as speaker-rattling, but they’re operating at high volume, whereas Dave Chappelle is more like a jazz artist, and Jerry Seinfeld is akin to the classical pianist who has charted every note in advance and will execute the performance with brilliant precision.
Patton Oswalt? He’s more like a singer-songwriter doing a lowkey but consistently original and entertaining set for friends and family.
Weaved together from two performances at the Knight Theater in Charlotte last September, “Patton Oswalt: I Love Everything” is a typically smart and insightful and chuckle-inducing show from the amiable actor/writer/influencer. Wearing a classic “dad outfit” of button-down shirt over white T-shirt, jeans and red sneakers, Oswalt riffs on relatable topics such as the folly of getting into a heated argument with your significant other over some insanely trivial matter; what passes for exercise when you’re middle-aged (he refers to hiking as “doing our little doom ovals … we got our ear buds in, listening to podcasts”) and why Denny’s is the most self-aware restaurant franchise in history.
“The one big change [in turning] 50 was all of a sudden, my breakfast cereal became deadly serious,” notes Oswalt. “Recently, my breakfast cereal was fun, and the boxes were bright, and there were words like ‘Sugar!’ and ‘Pow!’ and ‘Crisp!’ in the name, and an animal mascot screaming next to a bowl full of colors insulting to nature … and you turn the box over and the fun didn’t stop! There was a word find, or a maze: ‘Help sugar-bat get to his insulin.’ And now, the box is white, hospital white, and there’s a beige bowl … and inside the beige bowl, brown cereal … and the name is very serious: ‘Sorghum Farms Amaranth Flakes,’ and you turn the box over, is there a word find, is there a maze? No, but there is a short novel about the hippie organic cult farm where they’re growing my Aramanth Flakes.”
That’s some fantastic wordsmith work right there, my friends.
Oswalt, who’s not above getting into Twitter scraps with trolls who disagree with his liberal politics, explains he’s not going to do any Trump jokes in his routine — but still manages to get in his digs in explaining WHY he’s not going to do any Trump jokes in his routine. It’s such a subtle and precise takedown, his targets might not notice the wounds until they see the blood.
My favorite moment is when Oswalt, the father of an 11-year-old daughter, also shares some gentle humor and speaks in sweet and sincere and passionate tones when talking about being resigned to “living in the gray,” putting all of his joy and adventure into raising his girl after his wife Michelle died in 2016, only to find himself falling in love for a second time and marrying the actress Meredith Salenger, whom he describes as a “poem of a woman who re-lit the sky.” When you see love, says Oswalt, run to it. There’s room for essential truth in his comedy.
Side note: Kudos to Oswalt and his team for the visually arresting backdrop, which looks like a Frank Lloyd Wright house. Oswalt never refers to the set, but it’s a pleasing alternative to the usual deadly dull curtains or brick walls we see in most stand-up specials: I get it; you don’t want anything to distract the live audience from the theaterof-the mind wordplay. But for the at-home viewers, a little color and pop is a nice touch.
Dear Abby: My 53-year-old daughter is an addict. First it was alcohol, then hard drugs and opioids. This has been going off and on for 40 years.
She hit bottom recently. She became homeless and ended up in a women’s shelter in another state. She says she has been clean about six months. The shelter helped her find a place to live and she draws a disability check, so she has everything she needs.
She constantly contacts me and her father saying she wants to come home. We have helped her to the point of mental, physical and financial exhaustion, and we just can’t go there again. It’s the most difficult thing we’ve ever gone through. We know we shouldn’t continue to enable her, but if we don’t, we feel like terrible parents. Any advice would be much appreciated.
Terrible Parents in Indiana Dear Parents: You already know what will happen if you cave in to your daughter’s begging to “come home.” From now on, when she asks, remind her that she already IS home, in the place the people from the shelter helped her to find. Her troubles have nothing to do with you. They are the result of the life she created for herself. You already know that enabling her hasn’t worked. The time has come for you and your husband to take better care of yourselves.
Dear Abby: My ex-wife and I separated after 56 years of marriage. I recently found out she had been raped. Twice. The first was by somebody I worked around at the air base. The second was by her father to “teach her a lesson” for getting raped the first time.
When I asked her about it, she said it was none of my business because it happened before we met, but I think she should have told me. I worked around the first guy. Who knows what he told the other airmen behind my back? I also asked very personal questions of her dad, which I now regret. My question is, was she right or should she have told me?
Upset Person in the East
Dear Upset Person: I doubt that the person who worked with you on the air base would have spent much time bragging about having raped, so stop obsessing about what the person might have said. That your wife was raped later by her own father must have been devastating. Both of the animals who abused her belonged in jail.
That said, although your wife probably should have told you what happened to her, she was NOT OBLIGATED to do so. Your marriage is over. Let it go!
SHE CONSTANTLY CONTACTS ME AND HER FATHER SAYING SHE WANTS TO COME HOME
Dear Abby: With the stay-at-home order still in place in many states, take-out or delivery is the only option for nights when we don’t want to cook. How much should we be tipping the people who deliver our food? With sites such as Grubhub, which offer free delivery, do these drivers/deliverers get paid? I feel bad for someone coming to my house and leaving a bag of food on my doorstep, and I want to make sure they are compensated. How much would be a reasonable tip?
Likes My Delivery
Dear Likes: The Grubhub website recommends a $5 or 20% tip — whichever is greater. When you tip, the money goes straight to the delivery drivers, as it should. Some orders may include an ADDITIONAL delivery fee, but it is not a tip and drivers don’t receive that money, so make sure not to deduct it from the amount you tip.
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.