I get up­set when boyfriend stays out and doesn’t call

Chicago Sun-Times - - ENTERTAINM­ENT - Dear Abby is writ­ten by Abi­gail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Con­tact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los An­ge­les, CA 90069.

Dear Abby: I have been in a re­la­tion­ship with the same man for 15 years. For the last six, we have been liv­ing to­gether. He’s a ma­chin­ist who owns his own busi­ness and works strict hours of 8 a.m. to 5 p.m., Mon­day-Fri­day. Some­times he locks his doors at 5 and works an hour or two later, but he doesn’t call to let me know he is work­ing late. I have told him call­ing is com­mon cour­tesy. Some­times he does it, but more of­ten he does not. He thinks it’s “ridicu­lous” that I would won­der where he is, and if I want to know, I can call his shop.

Last Satur­day morn­ing he was up at 6 a.m. and told me he needed to drive 100 miles north of here to look at a “pro­ject” for a cus­tomer to see if he can fix it. When I asked what the pro­ject was, he said he didn’t know. This guy is some­one he has re­cently started a friend­ship with. It seemed odd that he wouldn’t let me go along for the ride. He said he’d have his phone on him, and I could call any­time to see where he was.

When I didn’t hear from him all day, I started call­ing around 7 p.m. and three times af­ter that, but he didn’t pick up. He pulled back into our drive­way around 10 p.m. and told me he was help­ing the guy move cows, and he would have called me on the way home but his phone died.

I’m up­set. He had din­ner with them, and they have a lan­d­line he could have used. I told him how hurt I was and that I feel dis­re­spected. He says he de­served a day to him­self. He thinks I’m be­ing ridicu­lous. Am I? Do I not de­serve a phone call? Wait­ing and Wait­ing in Mon­tana

Dear Wait­ing: You are not ridicu­lous. It was thought­less of him not to call, but you said it doesn’t hap­pen all the time. You are his lady friend, not his keeper. If he needs a day to him­self, it might ben­e­fit your re­la­tion­ship to cut him some slack. And when it hap­pens again, sched­ule some­thing fun for your­self so you aren’t sit­ting by the phone.

Dear Abby: Our fam­ily and ex­tended fam­ily are all highly ed­u­cated in­di­vid­u­als with ad­vanced de­grees. My son’s wife didn’t go to col­lege, and while she is gen­uinely nice, she butch­ers the English lan­guage.

My grand­daugh­ter will be learn­ing to talk soon, and I won­der what’s the best way to ap­proach the sit­u­a­tion. I don’t want to of­fend my daugh­ter-in-law, but I also don’t want my grand­daugh­ter learn­ing im­proper gram­mar. What are your sug­ges­tions on how to han­dle this prob­lem? Un­sure on the West Coast

Dear Un­sure: Be­cause your fam­ily and ex­tended fam­ily are well-ed­u­cated and hold ad­vanced de­grees, the more time your grand­child spends with all of you, the bet­ter her chances of learn­ing proper gram­mar. Do not talk “baby talk” with her. Read to her and give her books as gifts. If her mother reads them to her daugh­ter, they both may have a bet­ter chance of learn­ing good gram­mar. Be­ing around her well-ed­u­cated fa­ther will also help, and once she’s in school, it will be re­in­forced.

The only thing you should NOT do is say any­thing that will make your son’s wife self­con­scious about her up­bring­ing be­cause if you do, you may be see­ing a lot less of that lit­tle fam­ily.


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