Friends don’t wash their hands while mak­ing our lunch

Chicago Sun-Times - - ENTERTAINM­ENT - DEAR ABBY AD­VICE Con­tact Dear Abby at www.Dear­ or P.O. Box 69440, Los An­ge­les, CA 90069.

Dear Abby: My friend and I be­friended the most adorable older cou­ple. They in­vite us over and they love lunch­ing to­gether. They are ter­rific com­pany, and we al­ways en­joy our time with them.

Dur­ing our last visit, they were cook­ing lunch, and it was ap­par­ent that they don’t wash their hands when pre­par­ing food. Be­cause of the coro­n­avirus, we aren’t com­fort­able eat­ing at their house any­more. We would be happy to bring some­thing over, but they are set in their ways and like to pre­pare their own food. We tried say­ing we can’t stay for lunch, but once we are with them, they start putting out the food. What ad­vice can you give us? Stay­ing Safe in Cal­i­for­nia

Dear Stay­ing Safe: Go on­line and check to see whether you can pick up the coro­n­avirus from food. One would think that if the food is hot, the virus wouldn’t sur­vive the cook­ing process. Have you con­sid­ered invit­ing them to your place in­stead?

If you think this charm­ing cou­ple’s food puts you at risk of catch­ing some­thing un­pleas­ant — like sal­monella — the next time you are in­vited, lower your risk by bring­ing food for all of you. If they ar­gue, tell them you are re­cip­ro­cat­ing their hos­pi­tal­ity, which may have been one-sided if you have eaten there of­ten.

How­ever, if they ques­tion you fur­ther, tell them the truth. While it may cool the re­la­tion­ship, it will in­crease your chances of stay­ing healthy.

Dear Abby: I cut off con­tact with a friend I’ll call “Mick” after my wife and I had our first child. He was a gam­bling ad­dict, an al­co­holic and a se­rial abuser of women. He was vi­o­lent when he drank and once broke my nose be­cause of some per­ceived slight.

Mick had a trou­bled child­hood and then served in the Army in Afghanista­n and Iraq. By the time he re­turned home, his men­tal health was ex­tremely com­pro­mised, and I be­lieve this is what led to most, if not all, of his is­sues and short­com­ings.

I have al­ways be­lieved that, at heart, Mick is a good per­son. As some­one who suf­fers from men­tal ill­ness my­self, I feel I can un­der­stand his is­sues on some level. I would like to re­con­nect with him, but I need to pro­tect my­self and my fam­ily, both emo­tion­ally and phys­i­cally. How might I ap­proach rekin­dling a re­la­tion­ship with Mick in a safe and rea­son­able way? Miss­ing A Friend

Dear Miss­ing: Drop that idea. You are not a ther­a­pist, and you can’t “fix” what’s wrong with Mick. The man is a vi­o­lent abuser, and you have no proof that he has sought coun­sel­ing for his is­sues. Of­fer­ing the hand of friend­ship to some­one who broke your nose be­cause he had been drink­ing could be dan­ger­ous for you and your fam­ily. Your first re­spon­si­bil­ity is THEIR safety.

Dear Abby: My brother passed away re­cently. I bought a small life in­sur­ance pol­icy 24 years ago to pro­vide for his fi­nal ex­penses and to help his widow at the time of death. After pay­ing for ex­penses, I plan to leave what’s left to his widow. My hus­band is nudg­ing me to deduct the premium I paid for the pol­icy, but I don’t feel com­fort­able about it. I’m not sure what I should do. Any sug­ges­tions? Won­der­ing in the Mid­west

Dear Won­der­ing: This was YOUR brother and this is your sis­ter-in-law. Tune your “help­ful” hus­band out and fol­low your con­science.


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