As woman’s in­come van­ishes amid fur­lough, her spend­ing rises

Chicago Sun-Times - - ENTERTAINM­ENT - Dear Abby is writ­ten by Abi­gail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Con­tact Dear Abby at www.Dear­ or P.O. Box 69440, Los An­ge­les, CA 90069.

Dear Abby: For the past eight years, my son has been see­ing “Tanya” and, ac­cord­ing to him, she spends a lot. I’m con­cerned about it.

Be­cause of the pan­demic, Tanya got fur­loughed from her em­ployer. She lives in an apart­ment but has all de­liv­er­ies sent to OUR home ad­dress. Since the pan­demic, we are re­ceiv­ing many more pack­ages for her every day from on­line stores. Our son has men­tioned to us that she has huge credit card bills. I’m wor­ried if th­ese two get more se­ri­ous (mar­riage), it will cause prob­lems in the fu­ture.

I’m tempted to say some­thing to Tanya about the sud­den in­crease in de­liv­er­ies. Or should I keep quiet? We tell our son, but he al­ways has no com­ment. Some days it’s like Christ­mas Day for pack­ages. Per­plexed Dad in Cal­i­for­nia

Dear Dad: Your son and Tanya are adults. If any­one ad­dresses her spend­ing, it should be your son. I don’t ad­vise say­ing any­thing to Tanya be­cause it’s sure to be re­sented and could pos­si­bly cause a rift be­tween you and your son. Talk to him one more time and ex­plain your con­cern that his girl­friend is show­ing symp­toms of be­ing a spenda­holic. But af­ter that, drop it be­cause the prob­lem will be his, not yours, to solve.

Dear Abby: I’m a man liv­ing in a small town, and I fre­quent a lo­cal cafe for break­fast. The wait­ress who serves me each morn­ing, “Rita,” does a ter­rific job, and all of my needs are met. In turn, I leave her a gen­er­ous tip.

Abby, de­spite ex­chang­ing small talk dur­ing cof­fee re­fills, Rita snubs me when our paths cross out­side the diner. She will look di­rectly at me, turn her head and of­fer no greet­ing.

I’m not seek­ing a re­la­tion­ship with her. In the cafe, I al­ways sit alone and en­joy read­ing my news­pa­per while I eat my break­fast and drink my cof­fee. It just both­ers me that she won’t of­fer a sim­ple, civil greet­ing out­side the diner. Would I be jus­ti­fied in re­duc­ing the amount of the tip be­cause of her be­hav­ior? Puz­zled Pa­tron in In­di­ana

Dear Pa­tron: Have you tried speak­ing up and say­ing hello to her? I don’t know Rita. She may be un­friendly or pre­fer to draw a firm line be­tween her pro­fes­sional life and her per­sonal one. You stated that you tip her gen­er­ously be­cause of the ter­rific ser­vice she gives you. If that’s true, I don’t think she should be pun­ished for keep­ing her dis­tance when she’s not at the restau­rant.

Dear Abby: My hus­band plays a video golf game most of the time while we watch TV to­gether. If I ask him an oc­ca­sional ques­tion or want to show him some­thing, he says I am in­ter­rupt­ing him and I need to wait un­til he takes his golf shot.

It’s very frus­trat­ing to al­ways be put on hold when we are to­gether. I think com­mu­ni­ca­tion is more im­por­tant than a game. I’m tired of al­ways hav­ing to wait, so I just say, “Never mind.” Any sug­ges­tions? Out of the Game

Dear Out: Just say­ing “never mind” doesn’t get your mes­sage across. The next time it hap­pens, TELL your hus­band how you feel about com­ing in sec­ond place be­hind his toy, be­cause you don’t “in­ter­rupt” of­ten and you are more im­por­tant than his video golf game.


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