Smith, Caroline

Caroline Smith (December 18, 1924—May 27, 2022) was one of the best people in the world and certainly the best mother.

A life’s richness is not judged by the amount of money earned, the number of homes possessed, or even the number of prestigious titles held. It boils down to one thing: how many lives are touched. Against this standard, Caroline was richer than Elon Musk.

Caroline had many roles in life—daughter, sister, friend, wife, mother, and grandmother. Each of these roles were colored and deepened by her other characteristics: strength, thoughtfulness, stoicism, nurturing, selflessness, determination, and wisdom. As a daughter and a sister, family was everything to Caroline.

She was born on December 18, 1924 in Chicago. Just before Christmas.

Her parents were Liberty and Lucille Licata, both of whom were born in Sicily. She had three brothers, Sam, Vic, and Frank. She was the only girl until her parents adopted her sister, Carol Ann. Caroline grew up in an Italian family where everyone loved their pasta. In fact, they ate pasta several times a week. Her dad—Papa as he was called— always said, “Italians are always willing to feed you, but just don’t ask for money.”

Caroline also grew up during a time when boys went to college and girls did not. Despite being doublepromoted and being smarter than her brothers, she did not attend college.

She loved her brothers fiercely. And, this is where her selflessness comes in. As a young girl, she mothered and cared for her youngest brother, Frank. She found herself doing the same for Frank as he retired and his health declined and he lost his eyesight. She would drive to his house every Sunday and take him out to lunch, help him go through his mail and organize his papers.

As she grew older, Caroline wanted a family of her own. She met Harold at a dance. Caroline was a great dancer in the years following World War II. Every week, she and her girlfriends would go to the numerous dance halls that dotted Chicago during that time. Harold had been in the Navy in World War II and moved to Chicago after the war to become a welder.

They dated for nine—yes, nine—years during an era when people got married sooner rather than later. With time ticking away and great desire to have a family of her own, Caroline’s determination kicked in. She eventually agreed to get married in a civil ceremony. And she never looked back – because Caroline’s true calling was to be a mother.

After graduating Harper High School in Chicago at the age of 16, Caroline went to work at Spiegel’s headquarters at 1038 W. 35th Street. She worked for 20 years as an office worker until she became pregnant with her daughter, Mary. It was a time when women could not continue to work if they were pregnant. Thus, ended her office career and began her wonderous career as a mother.

This is where Caroline’s wisdom kicked in. Some parents try to solve all their children’s problems and fight all their battles. Not Caroline. When one of Mary’s kindergarten classmates stole her coat on a rainy day, both mother and daughter exhibited their stubbornness. Mary refused to beg or cajole to get her coat returned. Mary complained to Caroline, expecting her mother to take care of the situation for her. Instead, Caroline merely put her arm around Mary and her umbrella over Mary’s head and took her home from school. She did not confront the classmate’s mother. A few days later, the coat was returned dry cleaned. Mary, while a little damp, learned to be independent and to fight her own battles, lessons for which she is eternally grateful to Caroline.

As Caroline entered her 40s, she thought that one child would be her destiny. But, during a visit to her doctor, she was joyfully surprised to learn that she was once again pregnant. Pamela was born, and Caroline threw herself into motherhood once again. She loved Pamela so much and was so proud of the woman and mother she became.

As a wife, Caroline worked to make her husband happy. She took care of the house, and even assisted Harold when he did manual tasks such as patching the roof. When her neighborhood friends saw her up on the roof with her husband, handing him shingles, they said, “Caroline, you are crazy.” But, for Caroline, that is just what you did in a marriage.

After Harold retired, they moved to Southern Illinois where Harold was born. The city girl became a farm girl without missing a beat. After Harold succumbed to lung cancer and Caroline became a widow, her stoicism carried her through. She did not feel sorry for herself. She did not get depressed. She got a new life.

Moving back to the Chicago suburbs after losing her husband, Caroline built a new life that could not have been envisioned while she was married. She became a social butterfly with outings every day of the week. Pokeno on Tuesdays and Fridays. Senior citizen lunches on Wednesdays. Breakfasts with her friends on Saturdays.

She was able to travel with Mary and Pamela to Rome, Sicily, Paris, New Orleans, New York, and Hawaii. Her favorites were the Vatican and visiting the chapel in Assisi in Italy.

The heart of all her activities, however, was her involvement in Take Off Pounds Sensibly (TOPs). Caroline had struggled with her weight all her life (see pasta above). Every Thursday night was her TOPs meeting. For many years, Caroline served as leader of her TOPs chapter where she planned meetings, kept the books, and most importantly, encouraged and inspired her chapter’s members. She was constantly making calls and sending handwritten notes to discouraged friends who were not losing weight. She was also able to travel with her good friend Carole to the TOPs regional and national meetings. She got to see the entire country from D.C. to Connecticut to South Dakota to Colorado. In fact, literally the day before Caroline died, her friend, Brenda, who would have quit TOPs years earlier without Caroline’s encouragement, finally reached her goal weight. Caroline was helping her friends to the very end. And, years earlier, Caroline herself achieved her weight loss goal and became a “KOP.”

When Caroline became a grandmother or “nana” to Pamela’s daughter, Iris, she was overjoyed. She loved Iris so much and would do anything for her, from traveling cross-country by herself to be with Iris for her birthday to gamely going on an alligator tour in New Orleans because that is what her granddaughter wanted.

There was nothing more important to Caroline than family and friends. She wanted all her family and friends to know that she loved them all. We are particularly grateful to Jeanette Richardson for taking good care of Caroline for the last five years, and, for our new friend, Jamie Griffin, for taking care of her “little sugar.” The family would also like to thank Caroline’s neighbors, Bryan and Vicky Paliga, for all their help and kindness.

Visitation will be held Saturday, June 18, 2022, from 10:00 a.m.—12:30 p.m. at the Burns Kish Funeral Home, 8415 Calumet Ave., Munster, IN. Following visitation, a brief service will be held at 12:30 p.m. The wake and funeral will also be available over Zoom. Here is the link:

Join Zoom Meeting: https://us02web.zoom.us/j/842 17964130?pwd=UkFueWk3WElqRWZSOWlkKzFDSG I1Zz09

Meeting ID: 842 1796 4130

Passcode: 690181

In lieu of flowers, contributions can be made to either the Caroline and Ora Smith Foundation, www. carolineorasmithfoundation.org, or the American Bar Association Fund for Justice and Education with a notation “In honor of Caroline Smith – Children’s Book,” https://www.americanbar.org/groups/ departments_offices/fund_justice_education/.

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