Dressing for a first date? Take it easy
Dear Answer Angel Ellen: I’m going on my first online date, and I am asking for your recommendation on what to wear. I don’t want to feel too dressed up. On the other hand, I don’t want to be underdressed. I don’t know if this makes a difference, but we’re not going to dinner. It’s just for drinks. P.S. I’m in my mid-30s.
— Christine V.
Dear Christine: The whole idea of online dating — especially for the first time — can be nerve-wracking enough without piling on anxiety about what you’re wearing. So, my first and most important advice is to wear what makes you feel comfortable about your appearance.
You can’t go wrong with dark denim or black jeans, a pretty top and a fancier shoe — not gym shoes. Think about strappy sandals or a cute ballet flat. If you feel jeans are too casual for the place you’re meeting (unlikely), go with dark slacks and add a cardigan over the shirt.
A variation on these guidelines also applies to men: Well-fitting jeans, no beat up, too-athletic or brightly colored tennis shoes. Boots would be fine. Do better than a T-shirt (especially not one with a college or sports team motif ). Instead, wear a button shirt or nice henley.
Understand that online dating is going to feel weird, stilted and uncomfortable the first time. That’s totally natural. Be an interested and cheerful listener, and you’ll be fine. Dear Answer Angel Ellen: Am I crazy, or are Teva sandals coming back? I know that for a long time, they were considered too outdoorsy for city wear. But my Birkenstocks (my go-to casual shoes) are killing my feet, and I’m looking for an alternative. Your thoughts?
— Footsore
Dear Footsore: For the longest time I vowed never to wear shoes that have a Velcro closure. And I shared the view that Tevas should be confined to the most casual of outdoor activities — the pool, picnics, the beach and light hikes. But Prada (and other high-end designers) have made Tevas cool by producing $500-plus variations, Velcro closures and all.
That said, if I were to buy a pair of Tevas today, I’d stick with all-black straps, or metallic or a colorful solid, rather than the ones that have a design that gives off a hippie/ surfer or campsite vibe. And definitely skip the molded sole, like the Hurricane model. Go with the flat sole, like the Universal model (teva.com), which is the profile of Prada, et al.
Dear Answer Angel Ellen: My 4-year-old daughter wants an allorange wardrobe. Orange is fine, but I so wish she’d at least mix up her color choices a little. Any thoughts on how to gently persuade her that variety is “the spice of life”? She also wants her room to be all orange, including her bed, pillows, etc.
— Addy’s Mom Dear Mom: Count your blessings. Addy’s broken free of the little girl standard tropes of pink and purple everything! She’s already showing some individuality. Encourage it.
For her room, there are plenty of paint color variations on orange. Pick three color chips at the paint store of shades that you can live with and let her choose. Paint brands like Sherwin-Williams (sherwin-williams.com) let you upload a photo of the room and see just what the color will look like. This could be a fun rainy day activity for you both and might even result in widening Addy’s view on color options.
Back to your clothes question, battling kids over what they want to wear will get you nowhere but angry and frustrated. Humor her. Addy will make a really cute pumpkin for trick-or-treating this year. And by the time she hits middle school, if not earlier, she will have moved on to loads of wardrobe choices that drive you crazy.
Dear Answer Angel Ellen: I got a great pair of shoes online — pale millennial-pink patent oxfords — but the laces are velvet, and I don’t like them. How can I find a pair to match this unusual color?
All the shoe repair stores I’ve checked don’t go beyond white, black, brown leather and kids colored laces.
The 30-inch laces are shorter than normal — just four holes to go through.
— Sandi M. Dear Sandi: You can search stores for a very long time and still not find this very specific item you’re looking for. The internet has what you want. There are a number of shoelace sites to choose from, but I found what you were looking for at FeetUniqueShop.com. The array of colors and size (round, flat, super wide, curly) is daunting,
I found a 30-inch pair of pale pink flat laces (that will fit your four-eyelet oxfords) for $3.79 with free shipping. Laces come in lengths 24 to 120 inches and include gold and silver metallics. At these prices, you can switch out laces to match your outfits!
Angelic readers
Lesley W. writes, “Your recent column looked at makeup for women with gray hair. However, once again, I didn’t see anything about different strategies for darker-skinned women. Please keep in mind that many of your readers are African-American, Latino, Indian or from the Middle East, and some of the color advice you give does not apply to us. Here’s an idea: curlynikki.com, where I found an entry from seriouslynatural.org of ‘The Best Black Makeup Artists on Instagram.’ ”
Dear Lesley: I tried (apparently not with much success) to give suggestions that were applicable to women of all skin tones (such as a bold lip and purple eye shadow). Thanks for writing.
Now it’s your turn
Send your questions, rants, tips, favorite finds — on style, shopping, makeup, fashion and beauty — to answerangelellen @gmail.com.