Elliot Page’s news makes me grateful to be a parent
I amgrateful to be raising kids in this moment in time— flawed and chaotic and brutal as it is— because of people like Elliot Page, whose courage compelled him to live an authentic, full life and light theway for others to do the same.
Page is the Oscar-nominated star of 2007’s “Juno,” who also appears in “X-Men: The Last Stand,” “X-Men: Days of Future Past” and the recentNetflix series “TheUmbrellaAcademy.” On Tuesday, he came out as transgender.
“I feel lucky to be writing this,” Page, 33, said in a statement shared onTwitter. “To be here. To have arrived at this place inmy life. I feel overwhelming gratitude for the incredible people who have supported me along this journey.”
Itwasn’t so long ago that a person— celebrity or not— would go to great, painful lengths to hide this sort of truth: Howthey identify. Who they love. To do otherwisewould have been career suicide. To do otherwisewould invite the sort of ostracizing and isolation and shame that makes actual suicide feel like awelcome escape to some.
We’re not altogether past that time; Page referenced as much in his note.
“My joy is real, but it is also fragile,” he wrote. “The truth is, despite feeling profoundly happy right nowand knowing howmuch privilege I carry, Iamalso scared. I’m scared of the invasiveness, the hate, the ‘jokes’ and of violence. To be clear, Iamnot trying to dampen amoment that is joyous and one that I celebrate, but Iwant to address the full picture.
“The statistics are staggering. The discrimination towards trans people is rife, insidious and cruel, resulting in horrific consequences,” he continued. “In 2020 alone, it has been reported that at least 40 transgender people have been murdered, themajority of whichwere Black and Latinx transwomen.”
Transgender youth have significantly higher rates of suicidal ideation and attempts compared to cisgender youth. In 2019, crisis intervention organization The Trevor Project found almost onethird of transgender youth reported being a victim of sexual violence, and more than half reported periods of depression.
We’re a longway fromfull, enthusiastic inclusivity for people on the LGBTQ spectrum. Butwe get a little closer to inclusion as the norm every time someone says out loud, however large their platform, “This is who I am.”
Page knows the risks. He knows both the comfort and the confines of keeping the truth a secret. And he spoke up anyway. We witnessed similar courage fromDwyaneWade and Gabrielle Union’s daughter, Zaya, over the past year.
Their courage makes theworld an incrementally better, safer, morewelcoming place for all of our children. For all of us.
My kids don’t knowa different reality. When George Michael— singer ofmy household’s favorite Christmas song— died at age 53 on ChristmasDay four years ago, I tried to explain to them how Michael had to hide his sexuality for most of his life for fear of backlash thatwould sabotage his pop music career. It made no sense to them. It should make no sense to any of us.
I’m grateful to the brave souls who risk their lives and endure the backlash to nudge us closer to a day when no one has to hide or suffer in silence about something as inherent as their identity.
I’m grateful when these conversations happen publicly, somy kids and I canwitness theworld evolving in real time. Page’s statementwas metwith some derision. But itwas also met with an outpouring of love and support and affirmation so loud and heartfelt that it left the critics looking about as relevant as rotary phones.
And his impact on the LGBTQcommunity, I believe, will continue to ripple out for years to come.
Research showsLGBTQyouth with even one accepting, supportive adult are 40% less likely to report a suicide attempt in the past year. I have to believe joyful, confident, clear-eyed coming out announcements like Page’swill help bringmore adults around fromtrepidation to that all-important support.
Page closed his statement this way: “I love that Iamtrans. And I love that I amqueer. And the more I holdmyself close and fully embracewhoI am, the more I dream, themoremy heart grows and the more I thrive. To all trans people whodeal with harassment, selfloathing, abuse and the threat of violence every day: I see you, I love you and I will do everything I can to change thisworld for the better.”
Hiswife, EmmaPortner, wrote this on her Instagram page: “Elliot’s existence is a gift in and of itself. Shine on sweet E. Love you so much.”
Alot about life is complicated and awful right now. This is not. This is love. And truth. And brave people showing us howto embrace both. I’m grateful.