Fake it, or leave it: It’s possible to work with people you just don’t like
Darlene Evans, a social worker and workplace consultant based in Rochester, New York, says employees shouldn’t expect to like everyone they work with. “We think of our co-workers as our extended family, which they are,” Evans says. “And just like in a family, there are going to be people we just don’t like.”
Evans says the difference is that as adults, we don’t have to see those family members on a daily basis that we don’t necessarily like. “You can’t avoid your co-workers, especially if you’re in the same department or involved in the same project,” Evans says. “It’s not like your sister-in-law, who you only have to see on Thanksgiving and Christmas. You have to work with these people. You can’t escape them.”
Work through it
If you’re in a daily situation with people you can’t stand, Evans says there are ways to get past your inherent dislike for your co-workers. Here are her suggestions:
• Keep your distance: “You don’t have to hang with everyone in the office, whether it’s face-to-face or online,” says Evans.
• Be professional: “You’re working together, not planning your wedding,”
Evans says. “As long as both parties remain cordial and respectful, it’s possible to accomplish work-related tasks without tearing each other to pieces.”
• Don’t take the relationship so seriously: You have family and friends at the end of the workday so there’s no need to clench your teeth while working. Relax, do your job and remember your priorities.
• Use the relationship to your advantage:
“There can be a competitive advantage to working with people who aren’t in your circle,” Evans says. “Some people will continually push themselves to outdo their peers, so in some settings, a little discord among co-workers can be a good thing.”
• Keep your feelings to yourself: “If you don’t like someone, there’s no need to broadcast your feelings to the entire office,” says Evans.
• Seek help: Sometimes, HR will help clashing employees work through their problems. “If there is a lot of money at stake, your company is going to want to help you work things out,” Evans says. “It’s possible to work with a third party to help negotiate strategies, boundaries and more.”