Father’s days:
New dads should know their paternity-leave options
John McGrath says he didn’t plan on taking an extended amount of time off from work after his wife had their baby in April of 2019. “I figured I’d take a day, maybe two, just so things could get settled in at home,” McGrath says. “My wife’s mom was coming to stay with us for a couple of weeks so I just planned on working through it.”
And then?
“Well, not to make this like a movie or anything but she went into labor two weeks early and just like that, we had a kid,” he says.
And the movie moment?
“When I held my daughter for the first time, I was a big ball of emotion. I was like ‘I’m not going into work anytime soon. No way,’” remembers McGrath, a Chicagobased sales coordinator. “It was emotional but mostly I was overwhelmed by guilt — and you could even say it was pre-guilt. Like I thought ‘how can I leave this beautiful
baby every day for 10 hours? How can I not be there to help my wife? How can I even think about going to work when our lives have just been thrown upside down — in a good way?’”
McGrath called his boss and his company’s HR department. “I was upfront with them. I told them I couldn’t go back yet and they were amazing,” he says. “I didn’t even know I had two weeks of paid paternity leave and then another two weeks at 75 percent of my pay. And after that, I could take family leave.”
The ‘family leave’ McGrath is referring to is the Family and Medical Leave Act, or FMLA, which permits up to 12 weeks of unpaid time off for caring for an immediate family member, such as a newborn or newly adopted child. McGrath says he ended up taking all 12 weeks because his wife took longer to recover than she expected. “She asked me to stay a few more weeks so I could pick up the baby, change her — some of the basics that involved moving around,” McGrath says. “And of course, I said yes. I think I would have stuck around even if she hadn’t asked me to.”
Armin Brott, author of “The Expectant Father” (Abbeville Press, $12), says some fathers still aren’t sure they should take paternity leave. “It sounds absurd, but I think people are worried whether it’s the right thing to do,” Brott says. “I think that there is this perception of the fear of career
suicide from the dads. And from the other side, from the workplace, there is sometimes the perception that the man who takes time off for family purposes is not serious about his job.”
While McGrath’s employer was supportive of his lastminute decision to stay home with his wife and newborn,
new fathers shouldn’t expect the same reaction if they suddenly tell their boss that they’re taking time off from their job for several weeks. If you know you’ll be welcoming a new member to the family, it’s important to look into your options.
“There is often a disconnect between the regulations and the policies that are available and what employers are going to tell you about,” Brott says. “There is a surprisingly high percentage of HR managers and employers who are not supportive of a dad taking time off.”
After determining what’s available, Brott says expectant dads should discuss best-case-scenario timing options with their partner.
“If you’ve got in-laws coming in for the first couple of weeks, maybe the dad doesn’t need to be around. Maybe the family leave time would be better spent after the first
month. You want to get in there early, but for strategic purposes, it might be better to do it a little later,” Brott says.
Know your options
Although the FMLA is law, it only applies to men and women who can answer yes to all three of these questions:
1. Do you work for a company with 50 or more employees or for a federal, state or local public agency?
2. Have you been employed there for at least 12 months?
3. Have you worked at least 20 weeks in the current or previous year?
If you don’t fall under the FMLA guidelines, you may have other options for paternity leave, including:
• Paid sick time or medical leave if it’s offered by your company for paternity
• Paid vacation time if it’s offered by your company • Unpaid leave provided for paternity by state familyleave laws, if your state has them
• Paternity leave benefits offered by your union, if you belong to one