Neighborhood book thieves ruining library for everyone

Dear Miss Manners: We love having a Little Free Library in our front yard. We enjoy seeing neighbors and passersby look through the books, take one or two, and maybe make a special trip to leave a few that they’re finished with. We’ve received thank-you notes from people who appreciate our little library. However, a pair of women have started roaming our neighborhood, emptying all the Little Free Libraries into large bags that they carry. Eventually it got to the point that our library was being emptied every few days. We saw them this morning, carrying bags stuffed with books, and confronted them.

They were extremely belligerent. One claims that she takes them to give to her students, meaning she either has several hundred students, or they all read a few dozen books at a time. They also seem to have tastes ranging from beginning-reader books to Stephen King thrillers to romance novels to cookbooks. I’m pretty sure they are all being sold somewhere. The woman who did most of the talking claims that the word “free” on the library entitles her to take as many books as she wants. I agree that she should take as many books as she wants to read, but she readily admits she is not reading them.

We put a “Closed” sign on our library, but may try opening it again in the near future with a little sign in the window outlining some rules. But really, I don’t know what to do. It isn’t a police matter, and in the grand scheme of things it’s not that important, but I can’t stand these two women feeling entitled to take all of the books in the neighborhood.

Gentle reader: Congratulations on your newfound status as a librarian. You have already noticed that the job comes with the right to dictate the rules, if not the enviable ability to shush people (although what you do behind closed doors is up to you).

Miss Manners suggests that you take advantage of this right and indeed post signs: “Please help yourself to one or two books, then return or replace them for others’ enjoyment when you can.”

You might also take out the word “free” from the title. It will still be implied, but its absence may, perhaps, prove less likely to make hoarders out of borrowers.

Dear Miss Manners: My car is a plug-in hybrid, which means it runs on electricity for about 20 or 30 miles, then switches to run on gas. Gas is needed on long trips, but since electric driving makes fewer emissions, we try to drive on electricity as many miles as we possibly can.

If I stop to visit a friend at the limit of (or beyond) my electric-only range, what does etiquette say about asking if I can plug in the car for a bit of a charge? It’s not like I’m desperate to plug in, because I can always run on gas if the battery is empty, but a charged-up car is better for the planet.

I’m sure no host would mind a guest charging a phone, but charging a car taxes a home’s circuits a bit more. Still, the cost is nominal. In our area, plugging into a standard home outlet costs less than 20 cents an hour. I would gladly offer to reimburse a host for the electricity, but this seems petty.

Gentle reader: If there is a criticism lurking behind your question (“How could anyone be so petty as to refuse 20 cents to save the planet?”), Miss Manners appreciates that it was at least partially hidden.

As you propose to ask a favor — the use of their power from someone already entertaining you as a host — let us see if we can get it entirely out of sight: “Would you mind if I plugged in the car while we are here? That sounds scary, I know, but it draws less power than a toaster oven.”

Miss Manners avoids discussing money because it implies that your friend’s hospitality is conditional on the cost. As to the toaster oven, she has no idea how much power it draws, so she needs you to find your own accurate example.

Dear Miss Manners: I have a friend, who, when invited to dinner at my home, fills her plate but doesn’t eat everything on it. Being sick and tired of watching my hard work and expensive groceries end up in the garbage, is there a polite way to ask her to go easy and then have seconds if she is still hungry?

Gentle reader: No, but there is a solution to your problem, which has the added benefit of being more formal and decorous: Fill your guests’ plates yourself.

To send a question to the Miss Manners team of Judith Martin, Nicholas Ivor Martin and Jacobina Martin, go to missmanners. com or write them c/o Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.