Big demand for hired bridesmaids
Service fills needs of women taking vows away from hometowns or seeking obligations-free altar companions
The practice of hiring bridesmaids for weddings is becoming increasingly popular, as more people recognize that it offers a solution to the dilemma of finding suitable attendants for brides away from home while eliminating the awkwardness of social indebtedness.
Professional bridesmaids offer their services on various online platforms, including social media apps. The bridesmaids advertise their reliability, attentiveness and the high level of coordination they can offer on the wedding day.
One advertisement read: “I am available to be hired as a bridesmaid. I have average looks so I won’t steal the spotlight from the bride. I promise I won’t embarrass her on the wedding day and I can be the bride’s best friend, secretary, caretaker, assistant, bodyguard…”
The bridesmaids are advertised as being experienced in assisting with various wedding tasks and ensuring a smooth wedding day.
They need to be able to establish an assumed relationship with the bride, such as former colleague or high school or university friend. During the wedding, they refrain from engaging in extensive conversations and focus solely on executing their assigned tasks.
Typically, the hired bridesmaids arrive a day early to help with venue decoration. On the wedding day, their responsibilities include properly managing the bride’s emotions, safeguarding various items, organizing wedding games, assisting photographers with makeup touch-ups for the bride and accompanying the bride throughout the event.
Xie Yuke, 23, became a professional bridesmaid after graduating from university in Chengdu, Sichuan province.
Xie built her bridesmaid team by attracting people through social media platforms and taking recommendations from friends and relatives. The network now has about 100,000 people on its books, with a ratio of about 100 bridesmaids to every groomsman, and they have played roles in thousands of weddings across China.
The market for hiring bridesmaids is substantial. Statistics from goofish.com, a secondhand goods platform, said the demand for hired bridesmaids during the May Day holiday in 2021 was more than 20 times higher than during the corresponding period two years earlier. The demand for hired groomsmen was 25 percent of that for hired bridesmaids.
A large wedding usually requires six bridesmaids and six groomsmen, while smaller weddings may have one to three of each. The fees for hiring bridesmaids vary, with top-tier bridesmaids charging 300 yuan ($42) to 1,000 yuan a wedding.
Hao Rongli, a 19-year-old nursing intern from a college in Qingdao, Shandong province, has ventured into the bridesmaid-for-hire business as a part-time job.
She has more than 300 bridesmaids available for hire and has bookings for months ahead.
As she tried to grab a bigger share of the booming market, she expanded her business network by visiting wedding planning companies in Qingdao
to seek their cooperation.
Hao said there are several reasons the market will continue to flourish. One is that when a bride relocates to a different city to pursue her career and the wedding ceremony is held in the bridegroom’s hometown, she may not have a close circle of friends there. Hiring professional bridesmaids allows her to avoid having to invite distant relatives or acquaintances.
“By paying for the service, the bride avoids any potential discomfort in asking people she isn’t close to for assistance or feeling socially indebted to friends or family who come from a long way away,” Hao said.
She added that a desire to avoid potential conflicts with the bride’s zodiac sign was another reason couples opted to hire bridesmaids.
“According to traditional beliefs, it could potentially bring bad luck to the marriage if any bridesmaid has a zodiac sign that clashes with that of the bride,” she said. “By hiring bridesmaids, couples can choose those with appropriately matched zodiac signs.”
One memorable case Hao experienced in September involved a couple who required bridesmaids with certain zodiac signs to perform specific responsibilities during the wedding, in accordance with custom.
The bridesmaids had to carry special items, including an ax, a pair of shoes and chopsticks, and a bowl of noodles, which symbolized the bride’s
good luck and starting a new life. The hired bridesmaids followed the customs, ensuring the smooth execution of the wedding rituals, she said.
Ax in Chinese is pronounced fu, resembling the pronunciation of another character meaning good luck.
The wedding process and related
rules can sometimes be complex enough to make bridesmaids — close friends or not — tired and irritated. Some have even posted complaints on social media platforms about unpleasant experiences.
One bridesmaid recently shared her dissatisfaction with her role at a wedding, where she felt unappreciated and overworked. The woman, who had taken two days off from work to fulfill her duties, arrived at the wedding venue at 10 pm. Upon her arrival, she was immediately tasked with decorating the room, without being offered any assistance or even a glass of water. After working tirelessly for a couple of days, she began to question the purpose of her role. She expressed her frustration, saying that being a bridesmaid required quick thinking and flexibility. “But am I an employee? Do not take it for granted,” she said.
Another woman advised against agreeing to be a bridesmaid for a co-worker one is not close to. In her particular case, she had only agreed to take on the role because the bride was desperately in need of help due to her advanced age. However, her efforts went unrewarded, as she did not receive a bridesmaid gift or red packet containing lucky money. The meals provided during the wedding were takeout for lunch and leftovers for dinner.
Another bridesmaid emphasized that such roles should only be accepted if they assisted close friends, the only ones who could make the experience worthwhile. She said that as long as the bride is happy and joyful on her wedding day, other inconveniences can be overlooked, but those with average relationships would find it difficult to refrain from dwelling on trivial matters.
Such comments highlight the need for clearer expectations and more appreciation for bridesmaids, who often dedicate a considerable amount of time and energy to ensuring a successful wedding.
Professional bridesmaids can make the situation clearer because, after getting paid, they will do as etiquette requires. Despite being strangers, they can also offer emotional support, much like a friend would.
Zhang Yuxin, a professional bridesmaid from Xie’s company, shared her experience of providing emotional support to a bride in Mianyang, Sichuan, in September who had second thoughts about getting married. Zhang and another bridesmaid consoled the bride, helping her communicate her concerns to her fiance. The situation was resolved after he explained to them that he had been busy at work and asked for forgiveness and understanding.
However, Qu Huan, who works as a hired bridesmaid in Dalian, Liaoning province, said she preferred having close friends or family members as bridesmaids.
She said that hiring strangers for such a significant role may result in a wedding lacking the sincerity and authenticity that close relationships bring.
“It is fine if a bride can find a good bridesmaid who will indeed help share worries and solve difficulties,” Qu said. “However, if I just randomly choose someone from the vast sea of people without knowing them well, I will still have some doubts: Will this person be reliable and do a good job?
“What if I encounter someone like those young girls who have just started out in the bridesmaid industry. They might cause trouble for me. If I were to use someone, I would definitely consider my friends or people I know. Only if there are no suitable candidates would I hire one.”