My soul needs rest

I considermyself fortunate to have lived in an era rich in opportunities. Immediately after I graduated from university, I was selected as a prospective government official, and when I turned 25, I was appointed deputy head of the audit office in Donggou county, Liaoning province.

The Communist Party of China gave me the opportunity to rise quickly through the ranks of government positions, right up to becoming the top official in Fengcheng city. I owe the Party a great debt of gratitude.

With more public power at my disposal, I craved a luxury lifestyle and cared less about the interests of the people. I began to attend banquets and accept gifts. Eventually I broke the financial laws. I felt remorseful about that.

Hoping for asylum in another country, I traveled to the US on a regular Chinese passport in April 2012, and stayed there until December 2014. That time was a nightmare for me.

I dared not usemy passport, I dared not go to hospital when I was sick, andmy wife and I dared not tellmy daughter where we were. Our daughter was also in theUS, but we couldn’t risk meeting with her. If I were allowed to choose between sitting in a Chinese jail and merely surviving in the US, I would choose jail.

I can’t change what happened, but I want to tell anyone who has considered sneaking overseas that it’s a dead end.

When I learned the Chinese government had commenced a long-term operation to net fugitives, I knewI would be discovered one day. Instead, I decided to return to China of my own volition.

I can never make up for the crimes I committed, but I want to spend the rest of life repentingmy past. I realize thatmy soul needs rest.