China Daily Global Edition (USA)
FINDING LOVE IN THE REEL WORLD
But most would agree that the reality of dating and getting hitched in China is anything but entertaining.
“Women are getting stronger financially, intellectually and in almost every aspect, and they are now less likely to settle for minimum requirements,” said Zhong.
This phenomenon is reflected clearly in the show. The rate of men and women holding hands on the show — the action signifies a mutual agreement to enter a relationship — has fallen from 20 percent a decade ago to less than 10 percent in recent years.
“Still, we boast one of the highest success rates among dating agencies and matchmaking websites,” said Zhong.
Ni Lin, the female host of the show who has been with the program since the very beginning, did not mince her words.
“I think the reason there are so many single people today is because men have greater access to sex and women have greater access to money. These factors make marriage less necessary,” said the 44-year-old who is single.
Dubbed as China’s most famous matchmaker, the Shanghai native and local celebrity has a famous theory on “single Class A women and Class D men” that has been widely quoted across media platforms. She posits that as Chinese men usually prefer women who are inferior in social status as their spouses (Class A men looking for Class B women), it is only natural that the people left in the marriage market are the high-caliber “Class A” women and “Class D” men.
Statistics from the national ministry of civil affairs showed that by the end of 2015, the single population in China was more than 200 million, the equivalent of the combined population of Britain and Russia. The ministry also found that the proportion of single men and women in east Parents gather Ni Lin, China, the most economically developed region, is the highest at 26 percent for both groups.
These figures are worrying to the government. People not getting married means lower birth rates, which in turn exacerbates problems related to an aging population.
During the latest meeting of the China Youth League in May, the organization included “getting young people out of singlehood” as one of their 10 priorities for the decade spanning 2016 to 2025. Following the meeting, the official Sina Weibo account of the League even posted that “the China Youth League is duty-bound to help you find a better self and the best him or her”.
The last time romantic relationships became a national and political agenda in China was almost a century ago in 1919. Then, hundreds of thousands of students demonstrated to demand an end to arranged marriage and access to democracy and science.
Arranged marriages were the norm for thousands of years in China. In some cases, parents decided who their child would marry even before they were born. This practice, together with keeping concubines and the denial of a woman’s right to get out of a marriage, has been banned since 1950. There is no lack of means for young Chinese to meet their potential partners today. The Alibaba-backed dating app Momo, which is regarded as the Chinese equivalent of Tinder, claims that it has 60 million active registered members, 20 million more than Tinder.
The application allows users to make new friends based on proximity or a shared hobby and communicate via instant messages. While Momo made the headlines a few years ago for its reputation as the go-to app for one-night-stands, it is today still considered one of the best online platforms for those seeking serious relationships.
Jiayuan.com, a dating website that was created before smartphones became prevalent, currently boasts a membership of over 170 million members. Founded by a countryside girl who said she felt humiliated after traditional matchmaking agencies deemed her to be not good looking enough, the website markets itself as a serious place “to find beautiful serendipity”.
There are even special corners of the city where parents can matchmake their single children. In Shanghai, the famous marriage market at People’s Park sees an average of about 1 million people every year pedaling their children’s futures. The weekly fair, which was first set up in 2005, has grown to such a scale and reputation that it is now a popular tourist destination. In light of declining marriage rates, similar fairs have also sprouted in other Chinese cities.
Despite the host of dating options available, television shows like Date on Saturday are still considered by many as the most credible matchmaking platform.
After all, there is a strict screening process for applicants of such shows. Potential guests have to declare personal details including their marital status and occupation. The producer of Date on Saturday added that there are also other “soft barriers” like age and education background which aim to eliminate “unsuitable guests”. One in every five applicants gets featured on the show.
Ni noted that many of those who sign up for the program today are the relatively traditional types who believe in the credibility of mainstream media and the value of marriages.
“I think one of the primary reasons our show is sustainable is because it’s real. It’s like a newspaper, filled with real happenings every day. As long as there are single men and women, our program will go on,” said Ni.
She also claimed that the show does not have a script to ensure that there are screenworthy conflicts or cliff-hanger moments. There is also no rehearsal for participants. As a result, Ni admits that the show can at times be incredibly boring if there is no chemistry between the guests.
Such programs, however, have faced their fair share of criticism during their peak around 2010 when almost every local TV station produced its own dating show. Viewers soon slammed the new programs for being “morally ambiguous” and “too showy”.
The participants of such shows often came under the spotlight, too. Once, a 22-year-old model rejected the offer of a motorcycle ride with her jobless suitor, saying: “It’s better to cry in the backseat of a BMW than smile on a bike.” Such incidents led viewers to accuse participants of being more interested in seeking fame than looking for a genuine partner.
The allure of being on national television is very real. Yan admitted she was drawn to taking part because she has been watching the show since her teenage years.
When approached by China Daily USA separately, Yan and Guan said that they were not actually serious in pursuing a romantic relationship. Yan admitted that with six cameras pointed at them, saying yes to the man seemed like the best thing to do. Besides, holding hands on air does not qualify as a firm commitment in her eyes.
Guan’s response was similar. He said he was merely following the program’s routine of making an introduction, playing games and initiating the proposal. According to the producers, male guests can skip the proposal if they don’t find anyone suitable.
Despite the false alarm of getting a potential son-in-law, Yan’s father, who was at the filming of the program, was not disappointed with the actual result.
“It’s important to respect the kids’ will. But as parents, the earlier the kid starts her own family and enters motherhood, the better,” said the father, who married his wife 30 years ago after meeting her on a blind date set up by a mutual friend.
But all was not lost for Yan and Guan. Though they decided not to start a relationship offscreen, they did agree on one thing: it never hurts to have an extra friend.
at People’s Park in downtown Shanghai to exchange matchmaking information for their single children. I think the reason there are so many single people today is because men have greater access to sex and women have greater access to money. These factors make marriage less necessary.” host of TV show Date on Saturday has been aired every Saturday evening in Shanghai since 1998.