I’m a Hopeless Romantic
The Practice star makes a perfect life with his fiancée and kids
When you know, you know!” Dylan McDermott says of falling for his fiancée, actress Maggie Q. “She’s an incredible person. I know her heart, so it was easy to say, ‘Yes, I want to be with this person.’ ” Women have been falling for Dylan since he played Julia Roberts’ hunky husband in 1989’s Steel Magnolias and attorney
Bobby Donnell on the 1997–’04 drama The
Practice. And he credits his female colleagues
— including Jessica Lange, Jodie Foster and
Joanne Woodward — for making him a better actor. “Women have always played a big role in my life,” Dylan, 55, reveals: from his mom
(who was murdered by her boyfriend when
Dylan was 5) and stepmom Eve Ensler to his daughters Colette, 21, and Charlotte,
11. As his new film, Blind, premieres,
Dylan opens up about parenting, falling in love and being inspired by family friend Jane Fonda. — Gregg Goldstein
What attracted you to Blind?
Working with Alec Baldwin and Demi Moore was big, and it was a true love story. Those are the movies I grew up with.
So are you a hopeless romantic?
[Laughs] Yes, I guess I am!
What were you like as
a kid?
I was soft-spoken, and really didn’t have the words to say how I felt. When I started to say the great words of playwrights, I was finally able to express myself in a way I never could before. I needed to, so it made a lot of sense.
You had a tough childhood — your mom died tragically when you were 5 and your grandmother took over.
She was the one who was always there for me, especially when no one else was. I will always love her dearly for that.
Did your stepmom, playwright
Eve Ensler (The Vagina Monologues), who adopted you at age 15, encourage you to be an actor?
She did. She walked me to HB Studio [acting school], so I give her all of the credit.
It was nice to see you and Jane Fonda cohost an event for Eve’s “One Billion Rising for Justice” campaign a few years ago.
I really admire Jane. She’s been a good friend to my family, and she’s a lightning rod in the world that we all need. And Eve’s fought for women’s rights her entire life. She set up a safe house for women in Congo, [and even after] she was battling cancer and on the brink of dying, she fought back, beat the cancer and was there for the opening. She is truly the strongest person I know.
How would you describe yourself as a parent to Colette and Charlotte, your children with your first wife, Shiva Rose?
You don’t get much training in life with parenting, but the one thing I knew was that my job was to love them. One day I will no longer be here, and I want them to know that even when I’m not, I will always love them. That’s the most important thing to me.
You were married from 1995 to 2008. Did you believe you’d ever fall in love again after going through a divorce?
There is always another chance in life. That is what’s so great about it! A lot of people get disheartened, and I can relate to that. But I tell my kids: You can always start again.
Sounds like a good life motto.
They say the people who live the longest are the ones that can brush things off, and not the people who hang on to things. I really believe that is true.
You got engaged to Maggie in 2015. How are the wedding plans coming along?
Everything is great! We haven’t set a date as of yet. We are just enjoying being engaged.
How did you know she was right for you?
I admire what she does for the world [with her animal rights activism] and who she is in the world. I think she is a beautiful person, both inside and outside. I believe in her.
“We just have to love each other. It doesn’t matter how you define or shape it.”
— Dylan (with Maggie)
Has blending your family been easy?
You just have to love each other and get through that in a way that is different, maybe, from the way we learned. It all comes back to love.
You have two more films and a new Fox sitcom, LA –> Vegas, out soon. It seems you like to challenge yourself.
The question I always ask myself is how do I stay interested? I answer that by switching it up and doing comedy. No one thinks of me as funny! Now people are shaking their heads and saying, “What? Who knew?” I like that.
Anything left on your to-do list?
Right now I feel the world needs light, hope and change, and if I can help with that, I’m there.
Any benefits to being in your mid-50s?
I am happy I’m still here. I have seen a lot of people go. The gift is that I get to live another day when others did not. When you think about that, it’s always a good day!